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Read between April 19 - April 20, 2024
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Loss is not just what’s gone in the present but all of the future plans.
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Life falls apart in the shattered glass of what you thought would happen, who you thought would love you, who would be there
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Life falls apart slowly. And just as slowly, we piece it together again. One itty bit at a time. Steps forward. Names changed. New loves discovered. New homes built. Slowly, unsteadily, shakily, and yet, eventually, solidly rebuilt.
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Marriage is a mix. Some days are warm, easy, loving. Other days you want to strangle the person because they’ve taken five minutes too long in the shower. But at the base of it all is trust, respect, affection, kindness.
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“The real trick is being with someone who brings out the best in you, who sees you—well, not in the way my old boss, Michael, saw me; that’s a story for another time—and makes you the best version of yourself. Someone who makes you feel safe so you can take risks, explore new places, conquer new challenges. That’s what’s important. And that’s not anything you can find in a social media post.”
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You just have to know what you’re looking for and who you are. And you have to believe you’re going to find the right one. It might take a lifetime, but your person is waiting. There are so many people all over the world! They might not be in your dorm or even in California, but if you keep an open mind, look everyone in the eye, smile, be kind, be open, and see who else is enjoying the things you love, you just might find the ones who count. And give yourself the respect to not let anyone take advantage of you.
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“I’d say don’t settle, Zoe. If you feel like you’re being silenced or taken advantage of or abused or anything, press the escape hatch. And then call me so I can beat the person up. I think that for every asshole out there, there are ten nice people. Life is short. But if you’re with the wrong person, boy, can it feel long.”
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“Look for kindness,” Josh went on. “Search for those moments of connection where you feel like you’ve known someone forever even though you’ve just met them. And be patient.”