The Way I Hate Him (Almond Bay, #1)

by Meghan Quinn

“Friends?” I scoff. “Matt, I’ll be spending the next year of my life manifesting the shit out of you losing your testicles by an inmate you meet on your first day in jail after committing one of your felonies you seem to find joy in.” His face falls flat. “Don’t you fucking dare.” I press my fingers to my temples and squeeze my eyes tight like a child. “Thank you, universe, for introducing Matt to Homer, the inmate with the vise grip, and popping Matt’s testicles right off his body.” “Stop that,” Matt yells, pulling my hands from my head.

“It’s out there, beware.” I twiddle my fingers at him.

“You clearly haven’t been bitten by the right person.

If that man was looking at me the way he was looking at you, I’d have torn off my shirt and plopped my boob right in his hand, without question.”

“But I was a celibate angel for many years. So many years that I sneezed once, and a dustball flew into my underwear.”