Leslie F*cking Jones

by Leslie Jones

To all the people who loved me… To all the people who hated or hurt me… To all the people who had my back and looked out… You know who you are. Thank you.

“You’re not ready.” And I’d say to myself, How the fuck do you know if I’m ready or not? How much more ready could I be? I’d been doing this shit for twenty years. How much more ready can a bitch be?

Until death touches you directly, it doesn’t fully impact you.

I want to quantum leap back to my younger self and tell that person all the stuff she needs to hear. I was standing in my closet recently, looking at my clothes, and realized that the only person who could truly appreciate all this shit, and what it took to get here, is me.

When I think about how far I’ve come, I want to go back through my life and give my former self the love and respect she so often missed out on. I want to look after my younger me, tell her she’ll be alright—better than alright.

You are with yourself every day, all day, all night—might as well like yourself.

So many of us try to do our own emotional oil change, but we’re not mechanics.

Every generation thinks they have a new set of issues to deal with, when actually it’s just a different scene, different clothes, different mechanisms, but the same damage getting passed down.

Sometimes she’d just do and do and do, help and help and help. She was always giving of herself to people. Muthafuckas would sometimes take advantage of her.

In some of those early pictures, there’s a light in my smile, a pure, sweet light—innocent, unadulterated, open, trusting. You could tell I was a baby; you could tell I was happy.

the first and last thing you notice is that light is gone. Completely extinguished. It’s just a few years later and there’s awareness in those eyes that you can’t miss.

Stevie Wonder had picked Dad to help him at his radio station, the legendary KJLH. Stevie had created a motto to match the call sign: “Kindness, joy, love, and happiness,”

I don’t even remember what it was I’d done, but one day he said, “You’re acting like a kid.” And even though I was scared to talk back, I shouted, “Cuz you treat me like a kid!”

wasn’t the hardest part of my life; it was just a time of my life. You get to be many things in life, even when you are in between.

There’s a difference between fighting and defending yourself, and I’ve learned both: if you can carry yourself properly and show the world that you won’t be fucked with, you probably won’t ever have to fight.

Who did Jesus hang out with? The sinners, the hos, the tax collectors. So why did I think I had to be perfect before I could be in his presence properly?

But you? You are your own person. I love you.”

was just a sad little girl trying to make it through those days.

a new me showed up. It was impossible to go back to being the same person after something like that happens to you.

I want to be me. Nobody else. I’m going to laugh like me. I’m going to cry like me. I’m going to joke like me. I’m going to fight like me. There couldn’t be anybody like me, because I am me already.

You should really be talking to him about everything, because God doesn’t hate anyone.” “But he hates the sin,” the poor woman said. “What sin do you think you committed?” I said. (It was pretty clear to me that the reason she was a virgin at thirty-five was that she was struggling with her sexuality, and thought it was a sin.)

I’m a woman, but I don’t need to always feel the need to get all dressed up to show that.

I think that’s why one of the worst things about that movie is that it should have been a great film. That crew deserved for y’all to see the movie we actually made. But a lot of stuff got cut for cost.

Always sad to hear about content bring cut for one reason or another, when it could have made the production so much better.

When they later announced the Jason Reitman version, Afterlife, which completely ignored the fact that there had been an all-female version, and all that “giving it back to the fans” shit, I could not stay quiet;

I still can't believe that they just tried to erase the female version of Ghostbusters. Yes, the new rendition series is good but so was the female Ghostbusters.

Everything had changed once again. I had a new coat of armor. No one was going to fuck with me again. Everybody was about to find out.

Celebrities are just people; we know you love us; just be yourself.

“Know who you are because if you don’t, they will make you what they want.”

You may not be perfect, but you are somebody, and you have a story. You don’t need to be anyone but who you are. So many of us are trying to escape from who we are. Stand in yourself. I swear, if you start that work, you will be amazed to find out you are awesome. There is only one you.

People say to me all the time, “You are loyal to a fault,” and I am. Nothing wrong with being loyal, but when it starts to harm you, you got to know when to let go because you are not helping either one if you don’t.

life is life. It’s not supposed to be easy all the time, and it’s never as easy as we want it to be. But live through your trauma, stop running from yourself—you are your best friend. Think about it—would you let someone hurt your best friend? No. Do the same for yourself. You will get the biggest reward: happiness, even in a storm.