Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm

by Thich Nhat Hanh

Put down two cushions. First sit on one cushion and pretend you are the helpless, vulnerable child. You express yourself: “Dear one, I am very helpless. I cannot do anything. It’s very dangerous. I’m going to die; nobody is taking care of me.” You have to speak the language of the baby. And while you are expressing yourself like that, if the feelings of fear, hopelessness, stress, and helplessness come up, please allow them to come up and recognize them. Allow the helpless child enough time to express herself fully. This is very important. After she has finished, move to the other cushion to play the role of the adult self. As you look at the other cushion, imagine the helpless child is sitting there and talk to her: “Listen to me. I am your adult self. You are no longer a helpless child; we have grown up into an adult already. We have enough intelligence to protect ourselves, to survive by ourselves. We don’t need someone to take care of us anymore.” When you try this, you will see that the feeling of safety and security you want to feel doesn’t need to come from clinging to another person or from constantly distracting yourself. Acknowledging and soothing the fear within is the first step in letting it go. Understanding that we are now safe is essential for those of us who have suffered abuse, fear, or pain in our past. Sometimes we may need a friend, a brother, a sister, a teacher, to help us not fall back into the past. We have grown up. We’re now capable not just of d...