The Sea of Tranquility

by Katja Millay

“So what’s yours?” I ask. “My advice?” “No, your unforgivable thing. Apparently you must have one.” “Never thought about it.” She turns back to the window. “I’m guessing murder is out.” “Murder is out. You’d be dead, so the forgiveness would be a moot point.” “Not necessarily, but we’ll say so for the sake of argument. I guess I’d go with loving me too much.” “Loving you too much would be unforgivable? I’m going to pull a McAllister on you and require supporting details.” “Too many obligations. People like to say love is unconditional, but it’s not, and even if it was unconditional, it’s still never free. There’s always an expectation attached. They always want something in return. Like they want you to be happy or whatever, and that makes you automatically responsible for their happiness because they won’t be happy unless you are. You’re supposed to be who they think you’re supposed to be and feel how they think you’re supposed to feel because they love you, and when you can’t give them what they want, they feel shitty, so you feel shitty, and everybody feels shitty. I just don’t want that responsibility.”