Brideshead Revisited

by Evelyn Waugh

I sometimes think when people wanted to hate God they hated mummy.’ ‘What do you mean by that, Cordelia?’ ‘Well, you see, she was saintly but she wasn’t a saint. No one could really hate a saint, could they? They can’t really hate God either. When they want to hate him and his saints they have to find something like themselves and pretend it’s God and hate that.

I hadn’t thought about religion before; I haven’t since; but just at that time, when I was waiting for the birth, I thought, “That’s one thing I can give her. It doesn’t seem to have done me much good, but my child shall have it.” It was odd, wanting to give something one had lost oneself.

You see, I can’t get all that sort of thing out of my mind, quite – Death, Judgement, Heaven, Hell, Nanny Hawkins, and the catechism. It becomes part of oneself, if they give it one early enough. And yet I wanted my child to have it … now I suppose I shall be punished for what I’ve just done. Perhaps that is why you and I are here together like this … part of a plan.’