Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

by Brené Brown

Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both;

When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make.

Less thinking. More feeling.”

Social work is all about leaning into the discomfort of ambiguity and uncertainty, and holding open an empathic space so people can find their own way. In a word—messy.

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how to be both a mapmaker and a traveler.

What we know matters, but who we are matters more.

The greatest casualties of a scarcity culture are our willingness to own our vulnerabilities and our ability to engage with the world from a place of worthiness.

“How does vulnerability feel?”

Being all in.

It feels so awkward and scary, but it makes me human and alive.

Letting go of control.

It’s life asking, “Are you all in? Can you value your own vulnerability as much as you value it in others?”

the betrayal of disengagement. Of not caring. Of letting the connection go. Of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship.

Trust is a product of vulnerability that grows over time and requires work, attention, and full engagement.

I made what was uncertain certain, no matter what the cost. I stayed so busy that the truth of my hurting and my fear could never catch up. I looked brave on the outside and felt scared on the inside.

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real, you don’t mind being hurt.” “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?” “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. These definitions are crucial

When we’re anxious, disconnected, vulnerable, alone, and feeling helpless, the booze and food and work and endless hours online feel like comfort, but in reality they’re only casting their long shadows over our lives.

“It’s not what you do; it’s why you do it that makes the difference.” The invitation is to think about the intention behind our choices

None of us is ever able to part with our survival strategies without significant support and the cultivation of replacement strategies.

And approach the reintegration of vulnerability as a daily practice rather than a checklist item.

who consider themselves not only trauma survivors, but also “thrivers.”

When it comes to vulnerability, connectivity means sharing our stories with people who have earned the right to hear them—

Is there trust? Is there mutual empathy? Is there reciprocal sharing? Can we ask for what we need? These are the crucial connection questions.

Whether we’re on the purging end or the receiving end of this experience, self-compassion is critical.

“Don’t try to win over the haters; you’re not the jackass whisperer.”

We have to pay attention to the space between where we’re actually standing and where we want to be.

embrace of our own vulnerability and cultivation of shame resilience—

We don’t have to be perfect, just engaged and committed to aligning values with action.

When religious leaders leverage our fear and need for more certainty by extracting vulnerability from spirituality and turning faith into “compliance and consequences,” rather than teaching and modeling how to wrestle with the unknown and how to embrace mystery, the entire concept of faith is bankrupt on its own terms.

The gremlins will be out in full force, as they love to sneak up just when we’re about to step into the arena, be vulnerable, and take some chances.

the idea of vulnerability as the birthplace of creativity, innovation, and trust continued to play out—even when it comes to failure and defeat.

“Our golden rule? If you screw up, you clean it up.”

In terms of teaching our children to dare greatly in the “never enough” culture, the question

“Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?”

“What we are teaches the child more than what we say, so we must be what we want ...

we want to raise children who live and love with their whole hearts.

The important thing to know about worthiness is that it doesn’t have prerequisites.

Perfectionism is teaching them to value what other people think over what they think or how they feel.

we can’t raise children who are more shame resilient than we are.

normalizing means helping our children know they’re not alone and that we’ve experienced many of the same struggles.

Daring greatly means finding our own path and respecting what that search looks like for other folks.

Worthiness is about love and belonging, and one of the best ways to show our children that our love for them is unconditional

the differences between fitting in and belonging,