Conversations With Capote

by Lawrence Grobel

You did get something from an autograph seeker in a Key West bar—an amusing story? Could you relate it? It was in a bar in Key West and it was very, very crowded. I was sitting there with Tennessee. And this woman came over to this table where we were sitting and she had on a little pull-up shirt and she pulled up her shirt and handed me an eyebrow pencil. And she said, “I want you to autograph my navel.” I said, “What?” And she said, “Just write it like you would the numerals around a clock.” I said, “Oh no, forget that.” And Tennessee said, “Oh, now, go on, go ahead.” So I wrote my name: T-R-U-M-A-N C-A-P-O-T-E. Right around her navel, like a clock. This had caused a certain silence in this room. She went back to her table and her husband was in a rage. He was drunk as all get-out, and he got up from the table and came over and he had the eyebrow pencil in his hand. He looked at me with this infinite hatred, handed me the eyebrow pencil, unzipped his fly, and hauled out his equipment. By this point there was a dead, total silence in the whole bar. Everybody was looking. And he said, “Since you’re autographing everything, how’d you like to autograph this?” There was a pause… and I said, “Well, I don’t know if I can autograph it, but perhaps I could initial it.”