The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction

by Larry Young

Parenting follows the same pattern, further supporting the idea that love between adults has its roots in parent-baby bonding. As we’ve explained, nurturing is rewarding. If it weren’t, we wouldn’t do it, just like we wouldn’t have sex or fall in love. And like love, it shares pathways with drug addiction, including, among others, the amygdala, the VTA, and the nucleus accumbens. Parents “fall in love” with their babies, but in time, as with a love match between adults, there’s the risk of boredom, not to mention aversion. After a number of sleepless nights, dirty-diaper changes, and general baby crankiness, the bliss of the early days can turn into drudgery. Parental loss of interest is a life-and-death matter for a baby, so nature built in a system to make sure parents feel compelled to give care whether or not they like doing it.