Right Guy, Wrong Word

by Jewel E. Ann

Nothing says, “I’ve thought about you every day for the past three years,” quite like a phallus taken in portrait mode with the Vivid Cool filter.

“You’re flying to Nashville to get laid? Surely you can get laid locally. It’s better for the environment.”

“Juvenile?” I nod. “Like a child painted a portrait of their grandmother in seventh-grade art class. But hey, art is very personal. I’m sure Shaun fell in love with it.” “Juvenile?” she says slowly. I shrug and nod; then it hits me. “Oh, don’t tell me, he has a child who painted it?” Anna stares at the painting. “No. I picked it out during the remodel. I fell in love with it at an art expo downtown.” Fuck my life.

“You showing up unannounced is the best thing that’s happened to me since the last time you showed up unannounced.”