One with You (Crossfire, #5)

by Sylvia Day

Monica Tramell Barker Mitchell Stanton was obsessive about maintaining her looks.

Lily van der Woodsen Mueller Bass Humphrey

When I married your daughter, I accepted full responsibility for both her and her happiness. If there are consequences to be faced, I have no problem facing them.”

When it was too good to be true, how could it possibly be real?

Gideon had killed Nathan to protect me. Clancy had made sure Gideon would never pay for it.

I’d built my empire with the past in mind. Now, thanks to her, I would continue to build it for our future.

Setting the box down on the desktop, I reached for my smartphone and showed her the picture wallpapering my screen—Eva and I sharing the kiss that sealed our vows. Turning her head, Corinne looked away.

I love him LOL.

Would the day ever come when I would see her and not feel the earth shift beneath my feet?

I might’ve called her angelically beautiful, if not for the lush sensuality that always made me think of and crave wickedly raw sex.

That was why we were going to get past this and every other hurdle we faced: We would always meet each other halfway.

It shook me to the core to know that I could bring her some measure of peace. And what had she brought me? Everything.

At a time when I felt isolated and betrayed, when even my own mother refused to believe I’d been repeatedly raped by the therapist who was supposed to help me adjust, Angus had been the one to anchor me. He never doubted me. And when I struck out on my own, he’d come with me.

Leaning forward, I put my lips to her ear. “Angel, if you’re not missing the feel of my cock inside you, I need to step it up, not hold back.”

“Our wedding anniversary is August eleventh,” I

The ugliest things about each other brought us closer. It was crazy and it was wonderful.

And that killed me. She’d proven so many times that she could leave and not look back, while I couldn’t breathe without her. That was a fundamental imbalance in our relationship, which gave her the upper hand in everything.

You’re both driving your relationship forward on an accelerated schedule. It’s only been three months since you two met for the first time. At this point, most couples are deciding to date exclusively, but you two have been married for nearly a month.”

Gideon, you disassociate, as you’ve done with your family. Eva, you blame yourself for why the relationship isn’t working and start subverting your own needs, as you’ve demonstrated with your previous self-destructive romantic relationships.

I could tell her anything and she would believe me. Such a simple gift, but so rare and precious. Only my silence could push her away, never the truth.

“You could send me naughty pics, too, you know.” His eyes narrowed. “You want pictures of me, angel, you’ll have to take them yourself.”

LOL

I couldn’t go into how Terry Lucas had examined Gideon as a child and lied about finding signs of sexual trauma. He’d done so in order to shield his brother-in-law, Hugh, from prosecution.

She was very specific in her comments to me at the dinner, warning me away from you. Like I don’t know you and wouldn’t want you if I did.”

My poor husband. So accustomed to having his word be law and then choosing to marry a woman like me.

We are Gideon and Eva Cross, and you need to let me live up to that.”

Sexual abuse was private and personal, but in some way, we had to put it out there. It wasn’t a dirty, shameful secret to shove into a box. It was an ugly truth, and truths—by nature—needed to be aired.

I indulged in a mental fist pump. Score one for Gideva.

“You’re going to think I’m silly.” “I’ll still think you’re hot.”

I didn’t have to explain. Gideon knew how I’d been. How sex had once been my twisted way to feel loved. The guys I’d fucked hadn’t called me. Not before or after.

“Sorry you didn’t realize the commitment involved more than a convenient piece of ass!” “Conveniently unavailable,” I countered, feeling a muscle twitching in my jaw. “Screw you.” “Excellent idea.”

Damn, he's being such a dick.

“You’re so easy to love, Gideon. Even when you’re impossible. One day, you’re going to see it.” I dismissed that. What mattered was that I see her, that she was right there with me even after I fucked it all up.

“The way I talked to you on the beach … I’m an asshole, Eva.” “Sometimes.” She smiled. “You’re also the best thing that’s ever happened to me. That voice has been screwing me up for years, but it doesn’t have the same power anymore. Because of you. You’ve made me stronger.”

My husband didn’t remember the man who was known as a fraudster and coward. What he remembered was a father who had loved and nurtured him. Gideon worked so hard and had achieved so much, driven by the need to change what people associated with the Cross name.

“As long as the inside remains the same, the rest is just wrapping.”

“Gideon is vicious and cruel at his core. He’ll break you before he’s done with you. If he doesn’t kill you first.”

“Who do you think monsters marry, you stupid bitch?” I walked back to her. “Pretty little breakable girls? Or other monsters?” I pushed up into her face. “You got the fairy tale right. But Gideon’s the beauty. I’m the beast.”

“She’s a tigress.” I faced him. “I’ve got a few badges of honor from her scratches myself.”

“She loves that I can take care of her, keep her safe,” I said, mostly to myself. “But if I lost everything, she’d still be here. It’s me she wants, as fucked up as I am.”

was willing to pacify you with a blowjob, if you started freaking out.” My dick thickened and lengthened. “Now that you mention it … I am feeling a little cold sweat—”

LOL

“Lucky.” Her head tilted to the side. “What?” “That’s his name. Lucky.” Eva laughed. “You’re a fiend, ace.”

I love you, Gideon.” I took a deep breath, let the words flow through me. “I love you, too, angel.”

“She started all of this,” she hissed. “You’re such a smart man, Gideon, but you can’t see what she’s doing.”

Zero self awareness.

For years, I made excuses for her. I manufactured dozens of reasons for her refusal to protect me to give myself some comfort.

“Anne Lucas filed charges of harassment.”

Wow.

You’re damned lucky she embellished her story with a little assault accusation against Eva. If she’d just stuck with the truth, she’d have you both by the throats.”

What a Karen move.

“You want to misbehave?” he asked silkily. I was instantly desperate for him. Because he looked so cool and savagely civilized, completely contained while he basically asked if I wanted to fuck. He had no idea how much.

“And you shouldn’t feel invaded in your own home.” “Our home,” he snapped. “You need to grasp that concept, Eva. Quickly.”

He stared at me. “You have a sexual fantasy in which I’m a virgin?”

LOL

ALWAYS MINE. FOREVER YOURS. —GIDEON

But he was reminding me now that I could walk far and try to keep my distance at times, but his hand would always hold the chains that bound us together. And he would pull me back when it suited him, because I belonged to him. Always mine.

Crossfire was my safeword, what I said to him when I was overwhelmed and needed him to stop whatever he was doing. When he said the word to me, he was overwhelmed, too, but he didn’t want me to stop. For Gideon, Crossfire conveyed a connection deeper than love. My mouth curved. “I love you, too.”

I’d kept perpetually reserved—my “fuck pad,” as she’d called it. Until her, it was the only place where I took women for sex. It was safe. Impersonal. There was nothing to learn about me there but how I looked nude and how I liked to fuck.