Kasher in the Rye: The True Tale of a White Boy from Oakland Who Became a Drug Addict, Criminal, Mental Patient, and Then Turned 16

by Moshe Kasher

“Where is the car?” “Well, I don’t know in the classic sense of knowing. Well…” I thought fast in what seemed like a pretty good lie in the moment. “I…” I remembered the radio from last night. “I fixed the radio!” “What?” my grandmother asked, confused. “Yeah!” I yelled, gaining confidence. “I fixed the radio. I have a buddy who does that kind of repair work, and so I wheeled the bug down to his shop and fixed the radio to surprise Mom and Larry when they get back. Yep. That’s where the car is now. The radio-fixing shop.” A pretty good, pretty high-grade lie. Jamie would have been proud. “You pushed the car?” My grandmother looked dubious. “Well, yeah! I didn’t drive. I don’t have a license. That’s illegal! Duh.” “You pushed the car down the street to repair the radio?” “Yes. Exactly.” Why didn’t she believe me? I was lying, but there was no way for her to know that. “To repair the radio for your deaf mother.” I paused. “You know, I totally didn’t think of that! Ha ha!” My grandmother looked less amused. Just then I heard the car pull back into the driveway. Saved! “Well, there’s the mechanic now, delivering the car!” We walked downstairs together, me covered in vomit, my grandmother covered in doubt. Joey crawled out of the driver’s seat with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s in his hands. “Hey, thanks for fixing the radio, champ!” “Yeah.” Joey stared at me, confused. “Anytime… champ.” I sat down in the driver’s seat and looked up at my grandmother with a confident smile. “Here w...