Point of Retreat (Slammed, #2)

by Colleen Hoover

Lake takes an entire handful of fries and throws them toward Gavin’s face. I just sigh. She’s impossible to control. “You’re cleaning up tonight,” I say to her. “You, too,” I say to Eddie. “Gavin, let’s go watch some football, like real men, while the women do their job.” Gavin scoots his glass toward Eddie. “Refill this glass, woman. I’m watching some football.”

She’s wearing her hair down tonight. I love it when she wears her hair down. I also love it when she wears it up. In fact, I don’t think she’s ever worn it in a way that made me not love it. She’s so incredibly beautiful, especially when she’s not trying to be. I realize I’ve been staring at her, lost in thought. I’ve eaten barely half my food, and she’s almost finished.

“No clue. I’m hoping it’s not a puppy—it’s been under my bed for four months.”

Will… thank you. Thank you for coming into our lives. So much of the pain and worry I’ve been feeling has been alleviated by the mere fact that I know my daughter is loved by you.

And remember, when things get tough for him, please teach him how to stop carving pumpkins…

I were a carpenter, I would build you a window to my soul. But I would leave that window shut and locked, so that every time you tried to look through it… all you would see is your own reflection. You would see that my soul is a reflection of you…

I love being with you so bad When we aren’t together, I miss you so bad One of these days, I’m going to marry you so bad And it’ll be so so good.

Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.

Yeah I think I need more tequila… and more cow bell.

So if you could find it in your heart To give a man a second start I promise things won’t end the same. —THE AVETT BROTHERS I couldn’t have said it better if I’d written it myself. “Thank you, Julia,” I whisper.

“A man can tell a woman he’s in love with her until he’s blue in the face. Words don’t mean anything to her when her head is full of doubt. You have to show her.”

Sometimes things happen in life that you didn’t plan for. All you can do now is suck it up and start mapping out a new plan.”

“There are moments in every relationship that define when two people start to fall in love. “A first glance A first smile A first kiss A first fall ” I remove the Darth Vader house shoes from my satchel and look down at them. “You were wearing these during one of those moments. One of the moments I first started to fall in love with you. The way you made me feel that morning had absolutely nothing to do with anyone else, and everything to

do with you. I was falling in love with you that morning because of you.” I take the next item out of the satchel. When I pull it out and look up, she brings her hands to her mouth in shock. “This ugly little gnome with his smug little grin, He’s the reason I had an excuse to invite you into my house. Into my life. You took a lot of aggression out on him over those next few months. I would watch from my window as you kicked him over every time you walked by him. Poor little guy. You were so tenacious.

That feisty, aggressive, strong-willed side of you… the side of you that refused to take crap from this concrete gnome? The side of you that refused to take crap from me? I fell in love with that side of you because of you.” I set the gnome down on the stage and grab the CD. “This is your favorite CD. ‘Layken’s Shit.’ Although now I know you intended for ‘shit’ to be possessive, rather than descriptive.

The banjo started playing through the speakers of your car and I immediately recognized my favorite band. Then when I realized it was your favorite band, too? The fact that these same lyrics inspired both of us? I fell in love with that about you. That had absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. I fell in love with that about you because of you.” I take a slip of paper out of the satchel and hold it up. When I look over, I notice Eddie sliding Lake a napkin. I can’t see from up here, but that can only mean she’s crying.

“This is a receipt I kept. Only because the item I purchased that night was on the verge of ridiculous. Chocolate milk on the rocks? Who orders that? You were different, and you didn’t care. You were being you. A piece of me fell in love with you at that moment, because of you.” “This?” I hold up another sheet of paper. “This I didn’t really like so much. It’s the poem you wrote about me. The one you titled ‘Mean’? I don’t think I ever told you… but you made a zero.

And then I kept it to remind myself of all the things I never want to be to you.” I pull her shirt from my bag. When I hold it up to the light, I sigh into the microphone. “This is that ugly shirt you wear. It doesn’t really have anything to do with why I fell in love with you. I just saw it at your house and thought I’d steal it.” I pull the second-to-last item out of my bag. Her purple hair clip. She told me once how much it meant to her and why she always kept it. “This purple hair clip? It really is magic… just like your dad told you it was.

It’s magic because, no matter how many times it lets you down, you keep having hope in it. You keep trusting it. No matter how many times it fails you, You never fail it. Just like you never fail me. I love that about you, because of you.” I set it down and pull out a strip of paper an...

I’m blessed that I got to know her, And that she was a part of my life, too. I came to love her as my own mom… just as she came to love Caulder and me as her own. I didn’t love her because of you, Lake. I loved her because of her. So, thank you for sharing her with us. She had more advice about life and love and happiness and heartache than anyone I’ve ever known. But the best advice she ever gave me? The best advice she ever gave us?” I read the ...

She’s definitely crying now. I place the slip back in the satchel and take a step closer to the edge of the stage as I hold her gaze. “The last item I have wouldn’t fit, because you’re actually sitting in it. That booth. You’re sitting in the exact same spot where you sat when you watched your first performance on this stage. The way you watched this stage with passion in your eyes… I’ll never forget that moment. It’s the moment I ...

back up and sit down on the stool, still holding her gaze. “I could go on all night, Lake. I could go on and on and on about all the reasons I’m in love with you. And you know what? Some of them are the things that life has thrown our way. I do love you because you’re the only other person I know who understands my situation. I do love you because both of us know what it’s like to lose your mom and your dad. I do love you because you’re raising your little brother, just like I am. I love you because of what you went through with your mother.

love you because of what we went through with your mother. I love the way you love Kel. I love the way you love Caulder. And I love the way I love Kel. So I’m not about to apologize for loving all these things about you, no matter the reasons or the circumstances behind them. And no, I don’t need days, or weeks, or months to think about why I love you. It’s an easy answer for me. I love you because of you. Because of every single thing about you.”

My heart pounds against my chest. Not because I’m nervous. Not even because I want her worse than I’ve ever wanted her. It’s pounding against my chest because I realize I’ve never been more sure about the rest of my life than I am in this moment. This girl is the rest of my

life.

“Thank you,” she says when she pulls away. “For what you did up there tonight. And for trapping me in the booth so I couldn’t leave. You know me too well.”

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. —MAHATMA GANDHI I lean over and whisper in her ear. “You hear that, Lake? Indomitable will. That’s one of the things I love about you.”

When I open the door, she’s facing me. She smiles a really pathetic, pained smile. “Hey,” I whisper. “Hey,” she whispers back. “Hey.” I walk to her bed and stroke her cheek. “Hey,” she says again. “Hey.” “Stop it,” she says. She tries to laugh, but it hurts her. She closes her eyes. I take her hand in mine, and I bury my face in the crevice between her shoulder and her neck, and I cry.

Sometimes it feels good to have your biggest fears discounted with a simple compliment. “Thank you.”

I’ve learned something about my heart. It can break. It can be ripped apart. It can harden and freeze. It can stop. Completely. It can shatter into a million pieces. It can explode. It can die. The only thing that made it start beating again?

The moment you opened your eyes.

“Go,” Lake says. “I’ll be fine. You need to quit babying me so much.” I lean forward and kiss her. “But you are my baby,” I say. I’m not sure which direction it comes from, maybe all three, but I’m hit in the head with french fries.