Instead of opening the email, I click on the “you have a match” notification. Ah, yes, the pretty brunette, Valerie. Twenty-nine, single, interested in women, Gemini. Her bio reads, “here for a good time, not a long time,” which makes me wonder if it’s a Walk to Remember situation or if she’s that cliché. I message, “Stop making a fool out of me. Why don’t you come on over, Valerie?” and pour one out—hypothetically, because my coffee is piping hot—for my girl Amy Winehouse. I screenshot it and send it to my group chat with Em and Chloe. CHLOE: Make sure to ask if she has a good lawyer. EMILY:
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