Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down

by Corey Keyes

Acceptance: Are you accepting of yourself as you are—your personality, your strengths and weaknesses, your behavior, and your full range of thoughts and emotions? Are you accepting of other people? This doesn’t necessarily mean that you like them, agree with them, or approve of their choices, simply that you accept the reality of who they are without trying to change it. Autonomy: When a situation calls for self-direction, are you comfortable thinking for yourself, expressing yourself, and doing your own thing? Because it is a form of independence from society and social influence, autonomy is measured as a form of psychological well-being. (If I were creating my questionnaire today, I might add a question about your ability to engage in cooperative thinking and action that could reflect the social well-being side of confidence. Cooperative thinking seems to be in even shorter supply now than it was then.) Connection: Are you able to cultivate warm, trusting relationships? Are you part of a larger community? As a social species—because 80 percent of our evolutionary history has been spent in small hunting and gathering tribes—human beings thrive best when they feel connected to others. Competence: Are you able to manage the tasks of daily life? This is the psychological component of competence. Socially, competence is the ability to be able to make sense of complicated events and a complex social world. Mastery: Are you motivated to learn and grow? Getting better at someth...