In the Shadow of the Banyan

by Vaddey Ratner

Knowing comes from learning, finding from seeking.

“Perhaps it’s natural for a father, for every parent, to see in his child all that’s unspoiled and good. But if you can, Raami, I want you to see it in yourself.

Lightning struck, the sky roared, and the night cried a giant’s tears, thunderous and inconsolable.

I wanted to say something to let them know I was there, but as my voice hadn’t yet come to me, I swallowed my wordlessness

“In the blink of an eye,” she whispered in my ear now, “in half a breath, he went, surprising even himself.”

this sorrow, which was like no other I’d known, had weight and mass exceeding my body. It was a complete entity, a shadow-like presence that sat and walked beside me, assuming its place as my new and abiding companion.

“But love, I know now, hides in all sorts of places, exists in the most sorrowful corner of your heart, and you don’t know how much you really love someone until that person is gone.

Papa had called it mechas kluon—“a mastery of oneself.” Now this was broken and he shook and limped,

Sad was too small a word.