The Cipher

by Kathe Koja

“Never” is like “always,” an absolute.

Ah God, the happy hells I can create, you too, all of us. Even Nakota. We are all our worst best friends.

I was so tired of hating myself. But I was so good at it, it was such a comfortable way to be, goddamn fucking flotsam on the high seas, the low tide, a little wad of nothing shrugging and saying Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t know it was loaded, I didn’t think things would turn out this way. It’s so easy to be nothing. It requires very little thought or afterthought, you can always find people to drink with you, hang out with you, everybody needs a little nothing in their life, right?

He fell into step with me, or rather linked his ironic amble to my perpetual slouch. I bet he even shaved ironically.