When Life Gives You Lemons (Sun Tower, #1)

by Noor Sasha

“Probably has a bigger dick than yours, too.” “You haven’t even seen my dick, Alina.” “But I have seen your personality, and trust me, that’s enough to put your species at risk of extinction. Don’t worry, though. You won’t be missed, baby.”

I don’t know. I guess when you’re a hopeless romantic in the middle of a romantic-comedy montage, it’s hard to notice the red flags waving right in front of you.

And what about me? I’m stuck here with my—my freakin’ fictional boyfriends and shit.” I let out a sigh as my palms quiver, feeling sorry for myself as always. “And to top it all off, you don’t even have any friends with hot sons.”

I grab my Levi Ackerman body pillow, locking eyes with his 2-D greyish-blue irises. “You’re the only man who truly understands me.”

I halt on the final page, where Zoha’s drawn a picture of Genie from Aladdin accompanying five apparent wishes.

The cutest thing ever

“Is it bad? My smile?” Quite the opposite.

Sure, I might feel a bit of attraction toward her and her devil-may-care philosophy, but that doesn’t mean I will fall for her hook, line, and sinker. Besides, there’s no harm in denying she’s got a certain . . . je ne sais quoi about her.

“I’ve been searching for you everywhere, sweetheart.”

HOWL- imean RHYS- I FUCKING MEAN AZEER!?! GOT ME ALL BLUSHIJNG AND SHIT IM GONE

“Don’t be ridiculous, sweetheart.” He flashes me a perfect, pearly smile. “That’s my job.”

Give me Waluigi on a Mr. Scooty with the Rollers and a Cloud Glider, and I’m all game.

....the fact that this was the old META for mario kart..

“Dream guy?” “Yeah, bro. You’re like the dudes she reads in her erotica.” “Erotica?” He leans close, ensuring Shaiza aunty is out of earshot as she spreads ghee on a paratha. “So, one day, I got curious and checked out her bookshelf. And let me tell you, they are not your average romance novels. I’m talking full-blown porn on paper, with red tags sticking out of some pages. She fucking annotates it!”

“Do not for a second underestimate me, Azlan. Do not compare me to your past lovers or any other man you’ve crossed paths with. Because in my building, under my roof, the only name I expect to leave this stupid mouth of yours is mine.”

It’s then that I notice she’s changed into a comfortable pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt with a bald superhero in yellow spandex and a white cape.

ONE PUUUUUNCH!!!

“I’m sure you had a certain animated character to keep you warm,” Azeer mutters impassively. “Oh, yes, Levi Ackerman brings me tremendous pleasure,

“The dishwasher is a Caucasian appliance, while we Asians have mastered the art of scrubbing with our trusty sponges and steel wool. And besides, I’ve only been responsible for washing a grand total of, like, three dishes in the past three years.”

dishwashers are for storage LOL

My dark days of endlessly scrolling through Tumblr and reblogging every known edit of Alex Turner smoking still linger deep in my bloodstream.

Its like i never had an original experience in my life lol

“I warned you, Nuisance. It’s a dangerous angle. I suggest you keep that mouth of yours under control.”

IMSCREAMING

“Between the two of us, you are the ocean, Alina. Uncontrollable. Ferocious. Mystic. Wet.” A deep chuckle rumbles from his throat. “Correct me if I’m wrong about the latter.”

SIR. IM ON MY KNEES

One of the characters slipped running down the stairs and got stabbed in the throat by the sharp end of her umbrella.

HAHA I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THIS IS FROM. ITS ENGRAINED INTO MY BRAIN

“One of these days, I’m going to burn you,” I mutter. You’re threatening a pillow, Azeer.

Iknow. All men are threatened by Mr. Levi Ackerman.

“It’s you, Alina. It’s always been you, and it will always be you,”

After all the trials and tribulations, our roads led us to one another. Even if we can’t remember the moments we spent together in the past, the good and the bad, we’ll make new memories from now on.

“Let me look at you.” I cup her jaw, gazing at the happiness painted on her soft, round features. If the word “exquisite” had a face, it would be my wife’s. Just drowning in those deep-brown eyes makes time stop. “How did I get so unlucky?”

Alina is the burst of colours in my otherwise monochrome personality. She is the major chord that brings harmony to my minor scale, the lighthouse that guides me out of the darkness. She’s the one who laughs at my jokes when everyone else is too busy to notice and listens to me when the rest of the world is too noisy to hear. She’s the one who stands up for me and defends me when others try to bring me down.

“Do you love me more than the men in your books?” I snort. “Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.”

“Take me where you were,” Azeer says, wrapping his arms around my waist. I cringe slightly, feeling self-conscious about the rolls of my stomach. “Tell me what you’re feeling so I can feel it, too,” he urges gently.

why is this the sweetest fucking thing ever

“I need you to know that no matter what you’re going through, every fibre of my being cherishes you, and I wouldn’t dream of changing a single thing about you,”

“I’m not a poet, Alina jaan, but I believe the universe conspired to bring us together. To be with you this close, to hold you and kiss you and tell you how grateful I am for a woman like you. There isn’t a limit to how much I love you. Your black-and-white hair, your soft, soft skin, your double-jointed elbows, your gorgeous ass—I especially love your ass in those black Levi’s you wear.”