When Life Gives You Lemons (Sun Tower, #1)

by Noor Sasha

I don’t know. I guess when you’re a hopeless romantic in the middle of a romantic-comedy montage, it’s hard to notice the red flags waving right in front of you.

And what about me? I’m stuck here with my—my freakin’ fictional boyfriends and shit.”

Sure, I might feel a bit of attraction toward her and her devil-may-care philosophy, but that doesn’t mean I will fall for her hook, line, and sinker.

“Just don’t forget to take your meds.” My eyes fly open. “How do you know that?” “Unfortunately, I was listening to you on our blind date,” he responds. “Bare minimum,” I grumble under my breath, looking elsewhere.

I mean, why settle for one real-life millionaire husband when you can have a whole library of billionaire husbands at your fingertips? Priorities, people.

“Samir, this is Azeer. My— Uh—” Nemesis? Enemy? Scum of the earth that I’ve been arranged to? No, more like an unwelcome presence that I can’t seem to get rid of. A persistent itch you can’t quite scratch, a fly that won’t leave you alone, or a bad haircut you’re stuck with for months. Or, in my unfortunate case, permanently. “Fiancé,” Azeer finishes for me. “I’m her fiancé.”

“Hopefully, it doesn’t choke me,” I add with a glare. “Don’t be ridiculous, sweetheart.” He flashes me a perfect, pearly smile. “That’s my job.”

He could’ve been a model but chose to be a pompous, insufferable, and utterly detestable hotelier instead.

“Zoha. You’re okay with her, I assume?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady. “I’m more than okay with her. If anything, I like her better than you.”

“We make a great match, don’t we, Nuisance?” She rolls her eyes. “I’ve had better matches on Tinder.”

“Don’t give me that look. Consider this my way of consenting to this arrangement.” “Keeping photographic evidence of our agreement, I see.” A smug, self-assured grin fills my face as I lean back, letting out a low chuckle. “Afraid that I’ll commit a heinous crime against you?” “If, by some unfortunate twist of fate, we do end up falling in love with each other,” she says, pressing the start button and edging closer to me, “I’d like to keep photographic evidence of our first day as a couple.” My heart skips a beat as her overwhelmingly big dark-brown eyes lock onto mine. “That’s a crime on its own, isn’t it?”

All I can think about is the possibility of this fake marriage becoming something real. What if we actually fall for each other? What if we start enjoying each other’s company? What if she accidentally bumps into me, and we end up . . . kissing?

It’s like I’m under some spell, completely entranced by her. And as much as I hate to admit it, I can feel my defences slowly crumbling. For the love of God, is her sociopathic charm infecting me?

“Do you think it’s possible for such an unfortunate twist of fate or whatever to occur?” I ask. Nine. She gives me those doe-eyes. Eight. “Knowing the kind of a man you are?” A snort. Seven. “Absolutely not.”

I guess pissing my fiancée off has officially become my favourite hobby.

“I have a strong feeling that none of this was legal.” I playfully elbow him, noticing his hand slipped from my thigh a while ago. “Be grateful someone agreed to marry you.” He rolls his eyes, but I can see a hint of amusement dancing in them. “Yes, Nuisance, I’m eternally grateful that someone was you.”

“You should have read the fine print before signing the contract, Asseer. Looks like you’re stuck with me now.” His icy demeanour cracks, replaced by a mild smile that makes my heart skip a beat. “As are you, Nuisance.”

It’s time to collect my maniacal wife and her belongings.

Thirty-two years of self-control down the drain, all because of a single glimpse at my childhood tormentor-turned-wife’s body.

“You’re not everyone anymore. You’re my wife.” I don’t miss the blush tinting her round cheeks. “And my wife won’t be stepping inside a bus to save her life. I’ll make sure of that.

Do not compare me to your past lovers or any other man you’ve crossed paths with. Because in my building, under my roof, the only name I expect to leave this stupid mouth of yours is mine.” His dark-brown eyes flicker to my lips, and I feel a shiver run down my spine. “Are we clear, Alina?”

“You’re going to help me unpack, right?”

“Oh, Nuisance. That’s the last thing I plan on—actually, it’s not even on the list.” “I can’t move all of that by myself! You should know I lose all my feminism when it comes to lifting heavy stuff.”

“Then beg.” He turns swiftly, hands in the pocket of his trousers. I’m convinced this man has a fear of jeans or casual clothes. “Excuse me?” “You heard me. Want my help carrying your garbage to our room? Get on your knees and beg for it.”

It’s official. I hate my wife.

“God, I do love making you angry, Asseer.”

“You don’t understand, Vee. Alina was put on this earth to destroy my peace of mind. She’s diabolical and utterly disorganized. I can’t stand her constant whining. I hate how she becomes so animated when she speaks. I hate what she’s done to our room and how close she already is to Zoha.” My irritation towards that five-foot-five woman overflows. “Her face is just— I don’t know! I can’t stand it. I don’t like how her eyes are so big and brown. I don’t like the seven different sounds of her laughter. I don’t even like her floral fabric softener, cocoa butter scent.” I jab my finger in Vee’s direction. “And I don’t like her one bit.” She leans forward, her voice lowering. “Or maybe you don’t like her because you’re scared of how much you might end up loving her.”

Screw his less-than-stellar personality, but my god, I can’t deny the effect his physical attractiveness has on me. My body temperature rises just by being near him.

And then, finally, after ten long seconds, he pulls away, leaving me breathless from a fucking kiss on the cheek, even if I hate to admit it.

Could it be possible that this arrogant jerk is actually attracted to me, too?

“Where did your birthmark go?” “My—” Oh. I gather my hair to the side, revealing the hidden spot. “I covered it with concealer. It’s not very pretty, so . . .” “That’s not true,” he responds almost instinctively. “I mean, it’s—it’s a part of you, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.” He settles back in his seat, crossing one leg over the other. “Don’t cover it from now on.”

“You need to take a shower,” I hiss, wiping the moisture off with the back of my hand. “Me?” He snorts, pointing at my hair. “Nuisance, if the oil industry ever tanks, they can use your hair to squeeze out the last drop.” I bristle at his offensive comment. “Excuse me?”

“This is a very dangerous angle,” he murmurs, his voice low and salacious. His fingers thread through my hair with a gentle touch that’s almost too much to handle.

“This . . . is a very dangerous angle, isn’t it?” “Alina—” “You like that, don’t you?” I repeat his earlier words, savouring the delicious taste of them on my lips. “Throwing your words back in your face. It fucks with you, but I know you enjoy it.” A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, betraying the control he’s trying to maintain again.

I turn to leave, but not before throwing a smirk in my husband’s direction. “Behave yourself.” He responds by releasing that breath through his lips. Well, Lina, at least you know he won’t find himself a mistress.

“I promise I’ll be the best daughter ever!” “You could never let me down, butterfly. I promise to be the best of the best mother to you, too.”

Can I just say that despite her prickly, bratty attitude, she’s got an irresistibly flawless ass? Those dark jeans that hug her waist and curves before flaring out are hands down my favourite piece of clothing she owns.

“What does nuisance mean?” Zoha asks. “Your mother.”

Dimples. Sweet fuck, those dimples could bring a sinner to his knees.

She is like a magnet, compelling and spellbinding. There’s just this dangerous edge to her, and I’m unsure how long I can handle it.

“Are you trying to seduce me on the dance floor, Nuisance?” “Is it working, Asseer?” Alina replies, her tone suggestive. Fuck, yes. “No.”

“You smiled.” “I didn’t,” he retorts with a stubborn expression. “Come on, Asseer. Humour me, literally.” His half-lidded eyes briefly dart down to my smile, and I can’t resist grinning as wide as I can, showcasing the perfectly aligned teeth that took years of painful braces to achieve. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath.

“Fuck?” I raise an eyebrow in amusement. “Fuck—off.” He pushes my face aside and stands. And that’s when I know Azeer Khan has returned. “Feeling better? Did my dimples cure you, Dr. Khan?” “Get dressed, Nuisance.”

I’m hands down the funniest person I know.

All I know is, Azeer and Zoha are my family now. And nobody, absolutely nobody, fucks with my family.

Fuck, he’s so delicious when he’s mad.

“And I will eventually consider your flaws flawless. I’m halfway there, Azeer. I’m.

“You’re not alone, Azeer.” Alina’s voice is gentle yet firm, her hand outstretched toward me. “You need to know that every version of you, in every universe, is not alone. Not anymore.”

You like puppies, Zora?” “It’s Zoha, bitch,” she grits out. “Nice one, baby.” I feel a surge of pride overtake me. “But please don’t curse again, okay?” I mutter for her little ears. “I’ll only say it to bullies.”

This woman is a master at playing mind games, and I can’t deny the intoxicating effect she has on me. Every fibre of my being is drawn to her, driving my senses wild.