Shiver (For Puck's Sake, #1)

by Crea Reitan

I can’t get that from someone willing to jump into my bed. I need to work for that shit. And thus, my favorite pastime since the summer before college is messing with straight men. Those who are determined that they are straight and will never be interested in dick. Every barrier of theirs I break down, from the first time they flirt as a joke or direct an innuendo in my direction, all the way to when they let me break their ass. It’s all a damn thrill. Every orgasm from those moments is phenomenal. Worth the effort.

Having Egon’s schedule means I can trail him to learn his habits. It’s not stalking. It’s observing. There’s a difference. I’m researching so I can better meet both of our needs.

“I was pissed,” I whisper, “because she was touching you. I’d have been angry if I’d seen her with someone else. But touching you…” I can’t finish. Because I don’t understand the words that would follow. You’re mine.

“Rakesh?” I lick my lips. “Yes?” “Can I stay here tonight?” No. No! Tell him no. Fuck me, tell him no, goddamn it. “Yes.” “In-in your bed?” Jeezus kill me now. My cock jumps up, loving this turn of events. This was not in the plan. I mean, I suppose it was, but not like this. Not when I’m suddenly having an internal existential crisis. “If you’re comfortable to sleep in my bed with me, yes.”

“Shh,” I murmur, stroking his back, still cupping his cheek as I press his face to my chest. “It’s alright. Whatever you’ve been through, I’m here now. I’ll never let anyone hurt you.”

This boy has no idea he likes to be praised. His response is immediate, and he doesn’t even know it.

“Will you hold me all night?” The vulnerability in his voice cracks something in my chest. Like he just slammed a sledgehammer into my sternum. I suck in a breath before putting my weight more fully on top of him, pressing him between me and the bed. “All night, Egon. I’m not going anywhere.” I’m in so much trouble.

I return to Rake’s room every evening where he feeds me, helps me study, and then we climb into bed. I’d like to say that it’s a fuck fest from that point until the wee hours of the morning, but it’s not. If I’m really insistent, Rake will jerk me off while he commands my mouth and I squirm desperately under him. Then he cleans me with soft strokes, wraps me in his arms, and tells me to go to sleep. Because I’m a good boy, I do.

He grunts, his hands on me strong and hard, his fingers digging into me as I make sure he understands whose mouth this is. Whose body this is. Who he fucking belongs to. There’s only one person allowed to touch him and that’s me.

“Who do you belong to, Egon?” I can’t stop myself from asking. His grin is wide. He blinks, his eyes focusing on me when he answers. “You. Only you, Rakesh.” “Good,” I grunt. “Don’t let anyone else touch you.”

At the end of practice, I somehow land on my back on the ice. There I stay. Staring up into the blinding lights above the rink. Maybe the Zamboni will run me over. Polish me and make me all shiny and new. Maybe then Rake will want me again.

My chest hurts. Breathing hurts. Everything hurts. I think I love him. But he doesn’t love me. And now I’m broken beyond repair.

Egon Wolf, I will make you my husband tomorrow if you’re not careful with where you’re going with this. I already told you, you’re mine. I will never let you go now. So, we can get married now, next week, next year—I don’t care. Makes no difference to me. You’re mine.

“Because you’re the sun that I’m orbiting around. I will love you until the stars stop burning. You aren’t just my world, Egon Wolf. You’re my entire universe.”

“If I’m the universe, you’re everything in it. You can’t have a universe without the stars and the moons and planets and asteroids.”

Fucking hell. I married Daddy Warbucks.

“Wait,” Valenti says, narrowing his eyes on me. “Are you knocked up? Is that the reason for the shotgun wedding?” I laugh and pat my stomach. “I’ve worked hard to shed the flab, man.”

Sometimes, that fear keeps me awake at night. Because my heart is all for Egon. Everything about me is all about Egon. Thankfully, my cock has received that memo and so far, it’s on board as well.