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“My junk works, Sunshine. I just don’t have any interest in using it.” She tilted her head, confused. “Then why are you here?” “I don’t know.” The truth slipped from me without permission from my brain. People expected to see me at a party—I expected to see me at a party—but none of the scenario felt right, except for her. The world had shifted on its axis at some point, and I needed something genuine.
She looked up at me and patted my bicep. “Fair warning, when startled, I punch first and ask questions later.” I laughed, a long, loud, unrestrained belly laugh, but I didn’t let her go. She was mine for the summer, and I wasn’t wasting a second.
“Yay,” I deadpanned. “I’ve always wanted to meet someone named Shad.” “Stop it.” “I Shad you not,” I muttered.
I’d never considered myself possessive until the last twenty-four hours or so. Even my relationship with Eva had been low-key. Some might even say hidden. I might have been bitter—was still bitter—about the end result, but I’d had no problem sharing her with the world. Eva demanded attention wherever she went, including mine.
Pressure built in my chest when I pictured Blue smiling at another guy, with another guy’s hands on her. My fingers curled into claws around the plastic tray holding our food. I thanked the apathetic cashier and yanked napkins from the holder to give myself a few more seconds before turning back to the table.
Answer the door, Sunshine. Dammit. His stupid nickname made me all squooshy on the inside. Why was I still reading these texts? Guilt for ignoring him slowly crept into my fuzzy morning brain.
Blessed caffeine and sugar shot into my system, and I let out a happy sigh. “I heard that.” Adam’s muffled voice came through the thin wood as if he were standing next to me. “You’re welcome, by the way.”
“I don’t understand what they hope to get out of hanging all over the football players.” Honestly, I didn’t either, but I’d enjoyed the hell out of the attention. “Not your style?” “I don’t think so. I’d feel weird standing around touching someone without a goal. Despite my current location, I mean. Touching you feels right.” “Naturally,” I said, steering her toward my Jeep and trying to rationalize her words. She didn’t mean them the way Big Mac insisted on taking them.
Deep down, I knew the logic was bullshit. None of the ball bunnies held my attention the way she did. None of the cheerleaders made me want to spend all my time with them. No one else could take Blue’s spot in my mind, not even Eva.
I narrowed my eyes at him as he put the foil away. “You’re hustling them, aren’t you.” He winked. “Don’t tell them. If they think I’m incapable of basic domestic chores, I don’t have to do any.” “I hope you don’t plan to keep getting away with that while I’m living here.” “Never, Sunshine. For you, I’ll cook and clean. I might even get groceries.”
She pursed her lips, carefully not looking in my direction. “Your bathroom is clean.” “Yes. Shocker. I clean. Sometimes. Is this conversation necessary to have while I’m naked?” RJ dropped her attempts at modesty to glare at my face. “Oh? Does it bother you to have someone barge in during your shower?” “That was for your own good, and Eva sent me in there.” “Twice?” She shook her head, resuming her examination of the wall next to the door. “It doesn’t matter. Shaw and I just got back from campus, and the kitchen is clean.” “So you had to run in here to tell me?” “Did you clean it?” “Not
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As much as the thought of losing Blue’s company scared me, I wasn’t making the same mistake again. Blue knew parts of me Eva had never touched. She understood my restlessness, she wanted Adam, not Mac. And I wanted Blue. I wanted every prickly, confident, beautiful inch of her, and I was done holding myself back.
“Blue, you might be too much for polite company, but you’re just right for me. Polite company sucks anyway. Too much truth left unsaid and too many lies spread around with smiles.”
Adam lowered his head to nuzzle my neck. “I love the way I see a different color in your hair every time I look at you. Hidden pieces of a rainbow, waiting for me to find them. Like you.”
“Look at you, already soaked,” he breathed against my core. The sheer delight in his tone erased any nervousness. This was Adam, not some random encounter where I needed to perform. The tension left my muscles, and I let out a long, low hum. “That’s it, baby. Relax for me.”
“Goodnight, Adam.” I chanced a peek at him, but his hooded eyes didn’t reveal anything in the dark kitchen. “Goodnight, Blue.” His gaze stayed on me until I shut my bedroom door between us, and I realized a disturbing truth. One time probably wouldn’t be enough.
Adam and I were only friends. Friends who didn’t kiss. Friends who delivered on promised orgasms. Friends who would never work as anything more because Adam was Adam—funny, sweet, massively hot, surrounded by friends—and I couldn’t even keep my Mom around.
I lifted her chin, pausing until she met my eyes. “It is not you. You’re smart and funny and strong—and beautiful, which is all those guys saw. That’s on them.”
Her tongue darted out to wet her lower lip, barely missing my thumb. “How can you be sure?” “Because I see all of you, and I’m nothing like those assholes. Right?”
It wasn’t about sex. Like I’d told her before, sex was easy. I craved everything else. The banter, the soft looks, the barely there touches, I wanted to curl around her, safe in my arms, and never let go.
“I can see why you like her,” she murmured, her eyes getting heavy. Part of me was elated she understood my borderline obsession, but at the moment, even Wonder Woman paled in comparison. All I could see was Blue.
As I came down from the high, I realized we were naked on the couch in the middle of the living room. It was a little late for concerns about anyone catching us, but I’d have to scrub down the cushions tomorrow. Adam nuzzled my neck. “Stop thinking about cleaning.”
“Let me be absolutely clear here. This isn’t just sex for me. For one, I’m worth more than that. For two, we were friends before Big Mac got involved.”
His explanation made a disturbing kind of sense, but I found myself caught on his first point. “This isn’t just sex for you?” He huffed and fell back onto the bed, tucking his hands behind his head. “No. I haven’t been interested in just sex for a while.” “But you’re always flirting.” “Only with you, Blue.” I threw my hands up. “I thought you were like that with everyone.” His face closed down a little. “No.”
I knelt on the bed, and he rolled his head to stare up at me. “I’m sorry, Adam. It’s not just sex for me either.” He unclenched his hands and reached for me, twining our fingers together on his chest. “I know. I’m trying not to push, but it’s hard. The last time I felt like this…” Adam shook his head. “Honestly, I don’t think there was a last time. I wouldn’t risk my friendship with you if I didn’t see the chance for a future with something better.”
He nodded, rubbing his thumb across my wrist. “Good because the more I got to know you, the more I liked you. I wanted to spend all my time with you, and that hasn’t changed. I want everything. Can you handle that?” I nodded, staring down at my lap to try to find the right words. I didn’t want my mouth to mess this up for once. “In my experience, people leave, or don’t show up in the first place. It’s fine when I don’t have any emotional investment. You made it not fine. There’s so much in here—” I stopped to wave my free hand over my torso. “It’s scary and exhilarating and exhausting. What I
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“Blue and I are together, and I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her. Deal with it.” “Shit,” Shaw cursed as RJ laughed. “Questions?” Adam continued. “No? Excellent.” I stared at him wide-eyed as he dragged me into his bedroom and locked the door behind us. “You’re in love with me?” He grinned as he yanked off his suit while I stood there with my mouth open. “Yep.”
I love you too. The words circled my mind, stubbornly refusing to be shared,
The post included a picture of Adam holding Eva from behind and kissing her neck, the same way he’d done countless times with me. Eva’s face was turned away from the camera, but their body language said it all. The flare of hurt took my breath away. I wasn’t stupid. I knew this picture was from the spring semester, but it was the first time I’d seen them together like that. They’d done a good job of keeping their relationship a secret.
A thought occurred to me as I hit the sidewalk and noticed Adam’s Jeep in its usual spot—maybe Adam had simply traded in one Eva for another. And maybe having my own place was a good idea after all.
He was hiding things though. Loving someone sucked when the vulnerability came back to bite me in the butt. My whole life was wrapped up in Adam at the moment, but it didn’t have to be. I suddenly had other options for living arrangements which would make me feel a whole lot more stable and less dependent on someone keeping secrets from me. I texted Mom’s colleague and told her I’d take the tiny house.
Blue dropped her forehead to my chest, shaking her head slightly. “You are impossible. Does anyone tell you no?” I smiled at the feel of her against me. “Well, you still haven’t agreed to marry me, so I don’t always get what I want. Words are easy. Actions speak the truth. I’m not going.”
I didn’t want to lose Blue. The last few days had made it abundantly clear my life was better with her in it. I wanted her cheering for me in the stands and arguing with me over breakfasts and lying next to me every night. I’d marry her in a second if she’d let me.
Her eyes widened, and she made the sign of the cross over her chest. I sighed. “Mom, you’re not even catholic.” “So? You could use all the help you can get, mijo. You’ve been solely focused on football since you learned to catch a ball. If this girl gets you to follow your heart instead of your head, I’ll pray to any god who’ll listen.” She leaned away from the camera to yell down the hall. “John, get the sage and a lighter.”
“You’re not funny,” I muttered. “Yes, I am. You didn’t inherit your humor from your father.” From behind her somewhere, Dad yelled, “I heard that.”
“I love him.” The words were infinitely easier to utter to my mom than they were to Adam. She nodded. “Then go be there for him. I think your ride just arrived. Love you, honey.” Mom grinned and kissed my cheek before striding toward one of her long-time students.
“Technically, Noah told me, but I got the details out of Alex. I assume you sent Mac to the competition venue?” I nodded, speechless at the show of support. “That’s my girl. Don’t let him have his way just because you love him.”
“Hey—” RJ mumbled the rest of her sentence behind Shaw’s hand. I sent her an arched look. “You know our love could never be. My heart belongs to another.”
I pulled Blue into a hug, and she squeezed me tight. “I love you,” she whispered, officially making it the best night of my life. “I love you too, Sunshine.” I cupped her head and kissed her for all I was worth.
“No, but I want you to. I want everyone to know you’re mine—and I want you to keep wearing my name when we graduate and you come with me wherever I get drafted.” My eyes cut to him. “What are you asking me?” He picked up my left hand, playing with my fingers. “I thought I was pretty clear. You’re my future. I know you need your space, and you want to build your own career, but I was hoping you could do that with me.”
“You want me to move in with you,” I clarified. “After graduation?” “Unless you’re finally ready to marry me,” he quipped. I leaned closer to brush my mouth over his. “Yes.” He stilled, pulling back to meet my eyes. “What?” “Yes,” I repeated. “I’ll marry you, but we should probably wait until we find out what team you’re going to in the draft.”
“Say the words, Blue,” he whispered. “I love you, Adam.” “And you’re going to marry me.” He punctuated the sentence with kisses along my jaw. I laughed low. “And I’m going to marry you. One day, far in the future.”
“And you’ll wear my jersey to the game today.” “And I’ll think about wearing your jersey to the game today.” “Good enough,” he murmured, his weight settling between my legs.
His arms looped around my waist, lifting me off the ground. “Miss me?” “Always.” I lifted my face for a kiss. We’d decided to keep the marriage conversation between us for now, but it was all I could think about. This man with the wicked sense of humor and the heart of gold was coming home with me—would always come home with me. Adam was all mine.
