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“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” MAYA ANGELOU
life into this world day in and day out. I want that time back. I want her back. And curbing the urge to go to her and get down on my knees and beg—90’s R&B style—for one more chance is getting harder.
Time does not heal all wounds.
He’d eaten me out thoroughly, enthusiastically
It’s funny how quickly attraction can fade. One wrong move, one overly assumptive statement, and it’s gone.
“It is, isn’t it? Because there’s no avoiding the rain. Sometimes it lasts for days, and sometimes it only lasts for a few seconds, but either way, it’s going to come, so there’s no sense in letting it ruin your day.”
the rain will always come, but it’s what you do in the midst of the storm that matters.”
I decide to make it simple, giving Sloane a succinct summary instead of a full-blown play-by-play
Why didnt you trust sloane enough to talk to her about this... Everything??
I’m not angry because he’s in New Haven now; I’m angry that it took him so long to come back.
Every time I ask about him, she deflects like she did earlier, but I get the feeling that there’s more to the story.
Chileeeee
Our uniquely ephemeral love. The kind that burns bright but dies fast. A burst of unsustainable energy. A brilliant blast of color with radioactive fallout that lasts for years, the aftermath felt long after evidence of the bomb has been cleared away.
“You bought this house? You bought our house?”
“Why did you buy this house?” “Because I came here to build a future with you, Mallory, and when I thought about what that looked like, all I could see was this house.
“You don’t trust me, and I understand that, but don’t lie to me. Don’t say you don’t want me. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.”
“Oh, baby girl. You know it’s not too late for you two, right? There’s still time for y’all to heal what’s been broken.”
and the moment we lock eyes, I see exactly what he wants from me. Scorching kisses, life-altering orgasms, shattered inhibitions.
just added another item to the list of things I owe her: an orgasm so fucking intense she forgets she ever knew another man, let alone let one touch her.
“Every time you walked away from one of them, you took a step closer to me, Mallory. And when you’re done running, when you finally come home, when you believe me when I say I’m sorry, and you trust that I’m not going anywhere without you ever again, you’ll agree that every man who’s touched you has only served as a reminder that you were made for me.”
Oh ok!
“Sloane and Nic.” I laugh to myself. “In what world?”
“No, princess, I won’t give up because even though I know I can live without you, I don’t fucking want to.”
“And because I’m tired of running from you.”
Sloane is one of the closest people to me, and I know she’d say the same about who I am to her, and still, we’ve gone through so much of our life keeping vital information from each other. Suffering in silence despite having someone in our corner who wouldn’t hesitate to help us carry the load.
Withholding information from them is just a form of trying to control things that were never in your control anyway.”
I’m silent because I don’t know what to say to you, Chris. Everything we say to each other, every conversation we have, it all feels so loaded.”
“See, this is what I’m talking about, Chris. You don’t know how to just have a regular conversation. It’s always this.”
Its becoming a bit overwhelming
“You can lie to yourself, princess, but don’t ever waste your breath lying to me.”
“Do I taste good, Chris?” I break the kiss with a growl. “Princess. You’re the best thing I’ve ever put in my fucking mouth.”
“This is your dick, princess. It was made for your perfect little pussy.”
It means that he’s done it. He came back here to revive me, to breathe new life into our love, and I told him he couldn’t do it, but he did.
“You keep wanting certainty, baby,” Mama continues. “But certainty is a desire of the brain, not the heart. The only certainty we get in this life is death and the grief that comes with it. Everything else is ours to make, to hold in our hands and shape with our palms. To nurture or let die.”
“I’ll beg, princess.” He murmurs, quivering lips pressed against black silk. “I’m not above it. My pride is one of the many things I’ll sacrifice to have you. And if I have to beg every day, I will. I'll spend my life on my knees with tears in my eyes and a million apologies on my tongue. Each one followed by a declaration of my unending love for you. The sun will rise and set a thousand times, and I'll still be kneeling before you, apologizing for being another man who disappointed you, another man who broke your trust."
“I love you,” I repeat, voice stronger, more sure. “And I want this. I want us. I want our forever.”
One day soon, Mallory Kent is going to be my wife, and I am so fucking happy about that.
“Celeste Walker,” she says my mother’s name like it doesn’t belong in her mouth. Like the syllables are foreign and unwelcome. Like she hasn’t said them in years and has just decided, while she’s standing in front of me, to test out their flavor.
I knew it!!!
