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“Have a good night, son, and remember: the rain will always come, but it’s what you do in the midst of the storm that matters.”
He’s still handsome as ever—maybe even more so than when we were in college—with small lines around his eyes that make my heart hurt because I was robbed of the privilege of watching them etch themselves into his skin over the years.
“I love you, Mallory, and I’ve never had a choice in the matter. But, even if I did, I would never choose differently. Even if I lived a thousand lives, my soul would seek yours out. No matter what form I take, what name I'm called by, or what part of the universe I'm designated to, it'd still belong to you. I'd still belong to you. I’d find you in the depths of the ocean, in the darkest part of the night—”
“No, you don’t get to have me. You don’t get to say you’d find me in the darkest part of the night like we don’t both know that you’re the one who keeps leaving me there!”
“You buried me. With your secrets and your hope and your promises that you can never seem to keep and then you come back here after four years of silence and expect me to be thankful that you remembered how to find my grave?”
There aren’t many things I’m sure of in this world, but I am sure that I was made to love Mallory Kent, to guard her secrets and her truths, to kiss her scars, and ensure that nothing, not even me, causes her pain again.
“Now, I know Chris has hurt you, and even though he doesn’t hesitate to own that fact, he won’t tell me how. Only that he did. He understands your anger, Mallory, and he doesn’t even want you to let it go. He wants to hold it for you. Do you know how rare that is? To find a man who not only wants to take accountability for what he did wrong but also wants to relieve you of the burden of carrying the hurt he caused you?”
“It just caught me off guard. I can’t remember the last time you smiled at me like that, and I wasn’t asleep.”
Nic lifts his head, looking between Chris and me. “All I want, all I’ve ever wanted, is forever with
“I thought that you wouldn’t approve, you know, because of Eric.” “Oh, honey.” Mama moves over to her again, taking Sloane’s face in her hands. “Since we lost Eric, I have wanted nothing more than for you to find happiness again. I consider it a blessing that you found it with my other son. Now, I never have to worry about another family stealing you away from us.”
You’re my best friend. My sister. I don’t want to keep any secrets from you, and I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to keep things from me. I’ll keep your secrets, Mal, and I’ll help carry your burdens.”
“He scares me, Sloane. I love him. I love him so much, but he scares me. And not in that 'he might physically harm me' kind of way, but in the 'he has the power to emotionally decimate me' kind of way. Even being friends with him is terrifying. Like right now, he’s off in California dealing with some mess that will probably end with him running off again, and I shouldn’t care, but I do because I love him, and I know I'm going to lose him again."
“Don’t apologize, princess. Your burdens are mine. I was made to carry them.”
“Why do you want ten dates?” Replacing my lips with the pad of my thumb so I can feel the moment her heart starts to race because of my words, I gaze up at her. “Because I want one for every year we lost. One for every birthday you spent without me. One for every anniversary we didn’t get to celebrate. For every Christmas where the only gift I wanted was your laughter in my ears and your heart in my hands.”
“Have you noticed that no one in this room can take their eyes off you?”
“You keep wanting certainty, baby,” Mama continues. “But certainty is a desire of the brain, not the heart. The only certainty we get in this life is death and the grief that comes with it. Everything else is ours to make, to hold in our hands and shape with our palms. To nurture or let die.”
It’s such a simple gesture. The act of listening, really
listening, and using what you hear to make thoughtful decisions that ensure the person who communicated their needs to you feels heard.
“You know the difference between this time and all the other times you’ve gone up against your father?” He shakes his head. “What?” “You’re not doing it alone. You’ve never gone up against him with me by your side, and I don’t lose, Chris.” I throw my leg over his, wrapping myself around him tight. “I’m a fucking winner, baby, which means you are too.”
We land in Antigua six hours after leaving New Haven, and when we step off the plane, I’m blown away by how fucking beautiful the island is. I’ve never seen water so blue or sand so white, never breathed air that was so clean.
REPRESENTATION
"There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you, Mallory Kent."
