Revive Me: Part Three (New Haven #2)

by J.L. Seegars

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”

There was nothing simple about that first kiss or any of the ones that came after. Hell, there was nothing simple about us. About the way we began or ended. About the way we loved or lost. About the way our hearts were made to beat together only for us to keep ending up apart.

“You bought this house? You bought our house?”

“Why did you buy this house?” “Because I came here to build a future with you, Mallory, and when I thought about what that looked like, all I could see was this house. The light in your eyes the first time we rode by it. Do you remember?"

Or lord I can’t

“You don’t trust me, and I understand that, but don’t lie to me. Don’t say you don’t want me. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.”

“I love you, Mallory, and I’ve never had a choice in the matter. But, even if I did, I would never choose differently. Even if I lived a thousand lives, my soul would seek yours out. No matter what form I take, what name I'm called by, or what part of the universe I'm designated to, it'd still belong to you. I'd still belong to you. I’d find you in the depths of the ocean, in the darkest part of the night⁠—”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” “You always are.” “And I always will be.”

“No, you don’t get to have me. You don’t get to say you’d find me in the darkest part of the night like we don’t both know that you’re the one who keeps leaving me there!” She’s vibrating with energy, her features a kaleidoscope of volatile emotion. “You buried me. With your secrets and your hope and your promises that you can never seem to keep and then you come back here after four years of silence and expect me to be thankful that you remembered how to find my grave?”

There aren’t many things I’m sure of in this world, but I am sure that I was made to love Mallory Kent, to guard her secrets and her truths, to kiss her scars, and ensure that nothing, not even me, causes her pain again.

Going to see Annette had been a calculated move, one that soothed the part of me that missed having a loving, motherly presence in my life but also had the added benefit of signaling to Mallory that I’m not going anywhere. She can fight it. She can try to send me away, but I’m here, and I’m waiting, and I’m hers. I always will be.

“Your thighs around my ears.” I take a step forward, invading her space, and she moves back. “The sound of your moans filling our bedroom. A whole week to stare at you without clothes, so I can note all the changes to your body since the last time I had the honor of seeing you naked.”

“Because it got me time with you.”

I’m going to fuck Christopher Johnson tonight.

Not here, princess. No one gets to see you come tonight but me.”

Her pleasure, the best thing I’ve ever had the honor of putting in my mouth, the soft column of flesh that makes up her neck, the greatest thing I’ve ever sunk my teeth into. Nothing compares to her.

Because whether she knows it or not, Mallory has just added another item to the list of things I owe her: an orgasm so fucking intense she forgets she ever knew another man, let alone let one touch her.

“Because your experiences with those other men didn’t leave any room for doubt, Mallory. They might have satisfied you for a moment, maybe even a night, but what they gave you isn’t as important as what they taught you.”

“Every time you walked away from one of them, you took a step closer to me, Mallory. And when you’re done running, when you finally come home, when you believe me when I say I’m sorry, and you trust that I’m not going anywhere without you ever again, you’ll agree that every man who’s touched you has only served as a reminder that you were made for me.”

“There will be nights when you wake up in our bed, remembering every time in this very hallway when the lust faded away and the disappointment set in, when your pussy was wet for him, but your heart was desperate for me. You’ll panic at first, thinking you’re back there, in that empty place, but then you’ll realize you’re in my arms, and you’ll know, princess, you’ll be certain you don’t belong with anyone else but me.”

I learned a long time ago that I’m incapable of saying no to Mallory Kent. Any need she expresses is a direct order for me, something I can't ignore,

According to the text Nic sent me an hour ago, she’s here to argue, which is fine with me. Anything to have her here, anything to be in her presence.

“Do you have furniture yet?” My lips quirk. “No, I’m waiting for you.” She rolls her eyes. “You don’t need me to buy furniture for your house, Chris.” “It’s our house, Mallory, and we’ll furnish it together.”

“Today, you’re here to argue, or at least that’s what Nic told me. Do you want to do that out here or in there?” “Here is fine.” “Perfect.” I let my bag drop from my shoulder and set it on the porch before taking a seat next to her. “Let me have it.”

“There’s something wrong with you, you know that?” “Yeah, I’m walking around with half of my heart missing.”

Her soft rejection stings, and I don’t have the strength to hide it. She smiles like it’s her pleasure to torment me, and like the fucking fool I am, I smile back. Happy to let her hurt me because I hope it means she still cares. God, I love her.

“All I have is a bed, princess. Everything else is a clean, empty slate, waiting for you to come home and leave your mark on it.”

“I know I can live without you, Mallory. My heart will keep beating, my lungs will keep drawing air, but I won’t be alive. Not really. Not the way I am with you.”

“No, princess, I won’t give up because even though I know I can live without you, I don’t fucking want to.”

We’re not done yet. And it’s not as good as having her in my arms, or in my bed, but it’s enough. For now.

He understands your anger, Mallory, and he doesn’t even want you to let it go. He wants to hold it for you. Do you know how rare that is? To find a man who not only wants to take accountability for what he did wrong but also wants to relieve you of the burden of carrying the hurt he caused you?”

“Not erase it,” Mama continues. “Not sweep it under the rug and tell you it never happened or that you overreacted. But carry it. Work every day to fix it. Pour enough love into you that you don’t even remember what it was like to hurt. That’s not the kind of man you run from, baby.”

“Because I want you to wear it and think about me.” “Because you want to remind me that I used to be yours.” “Because I want to remind you that you’re still mine.”

“But I always knew I would get it back to you, and when I did, I wanted it to be something new, something to show that our future might not look anything like our beginning, but it could still be beautiful. Remade but still whole.”

I close my eyes and groan, not even bothering to try and keep it quiet because I know that I have to let it out; otherwise, I’ll be on my knees in this hallway, undoing what little progress she made with the zipper so I can spread her cheeks open and eat her ass.

Whether she wants to acknowledge it or not, she’s my partner in this life and the next. And I won’t ever make the mistake of behaving like she isn’t.

“Princess, I’m only going to find out what the hell is so important, and then I’m coming back here. To our home, to you.”

“Don’t apologize, princess. Your burdens are mine. I was made to carry them.”

As far as Mallory and I are concerned, you're a non-factor. Got it?”

“Because I want one for every year we lost. One for every birthday you spent without me. One for every anniversary we didn’t get to celebrate. For every Christmas where the only gift I wanted was your laughter in my ears and your heart in my hands.”

“That brings me to my next point.” I have to fight to keep the possessiveness from my tone. “I won’t be dating anyone else, and neither will you.”

“No, princess, I meant every word I said that night. But I won’t share you, and I know you don’t want to share me.”

“If I say yes, that’s what I want, Chris. I want a guaranteed out. At the end of the ten dates, when nothing has changed, when the only thing we’ve done is ruin each other again, I want you to promise that you’ll walk away. That you’ll stop trying to rewrite history.”

Chris: Princess, you agreed to ten dates. And when I asked what your requirements were for this arrangement, you failed to add a ‘no international trips’ clause, so again, I ask: DO YOU HAVE A PASSPORT?

“Dr. Johnson, Ms. Kent is here to see you.” There is a second of silence on her end while she listens to his response: “Yes, I’ll show her to your office.”

YUMMYYYYYY

When she places the phone back on the hook, I still haven’t recovered from the shock of her knowing who I am and Chris having, what appears to be, protocols in place regarding me. The receptionist stands and waves her hand, gesturing for me to meet her at the door off to the side that leads to the back.

I don’t understand it until I step inside Chris’ office and see pictures of me and him from a lifetime ago displayed on the bookshelves behind his desk in a more prominent position than his degrees, which are off to the side, like he only put them out because he had to.

This got me cryinggggg help

“Good. You have everything you need here. Whatever you don’t like, we can get rid of. I just wanted you to have things here so you never felt the need to pack a bag to come home.”

Whenever I’m in that house, everything feels too real, too permanent, too close to what he said he came back to give me. Security, certainty, hope. And it all just stands in direct contradiction to what I know to be true: Chris leaves, and when he does, I’m devastated.

She was happy, and she came to me. She was happy, and she came home.

“See, the only trouble with that is—” I pull back, lifting off of her so I can stand upright again. “—I’m pretty determined to build a life with you, and I need you alive for that.”