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Stretching beyond our strengths is how we reach our potential and perform at our peak. But progress is not merely a means to the end of excellence. Getting better is a worthy accomplishment in and of itself.
Character is more than just having principles. It’s a learned capacity to live by your principles.
When we admire great thinkers, doers, and leaders, we often focus narrowly on their performance. That leads us to elevate the people who have accomplished the most and overlook the ones who have achieved the most with the least. The true measure of your potential is not the height of the peak you’ve reached, but how far you’ve climbed to get there.
Character is your capacity to prioritize your values over your instincts.
The way you like to learn is what makes you comfortable, but it isn’t necessarily how you learn best.
Being polite is withholding feedback to make someone feel good today. Being kind is being candid about how they can get better tomorrow.
Instead of seeking feedback, you’re better off asking for advice. Feedback tends to focus on how well you did last time. Advice shifts attention to how you can do better next time. In experiments, that simple shift is enough to elicit more specific suggestions and more constructive input.[*] Rather than dwelling on what you did wrong, advice guides you toward what you can do right.
But when people are already determined, we don’t need a leader to bark commands. Research demonstrates that when organizations have cultures that prize results above relationships, if they have a leader who puts people first, they actually achieve greater performance gains. When everyone is scrambling to make a rapid rescue, you want someone in charge who cares about everyone.
Teach what you want to learn. The best way to learn something is to teach it. You understand it better after you explain it—and you remember it better after you take the time to recall it. Like the Golden Thirteen, you can do this in groups, with each member teaching a distinct skill or slice of information.
Open doors for people who are underrated and overlooked. Create systems that invest in and create opportunities for all—not just gifted students and high-potential employees. A good system gives underdogs and late bloomers the chance to show how far they’ve come.
