That's Not My Name

by Megan Lally

What if I’m not Mary? What if I’m not Mary? What if I’m not Mary?

I’m filled with a very specific sort of longing. The kind that would place more people like her in charge. To put Eloise in Roane’s shoes and see how quickly Lola comes home. Having her so immediately invested in our mission feels like our little capsizing lifeboat might stay afloat.

Oh sure. Ditch school, impersonate a police station secretary, ambush a witness, get kicked out of a diner, steal security footage, cause an old lady emotional distress, and stay out all night—that’s all on the up-and-up, but sleeping in the same bed as a boy is where she finds an uncrossable line.

I ghosted the girl who saved my life because she looked a little too much like the girl I threw to the wolves.