That's Not My Name

by Megan Lally

“You don’t have to dress like a vampire just because we’re staying in the forest. It’s not Forks.” He laughs at his own joke and holds out the hanger with the hideous peach tank top.

Bella! Where the hell have you been Loca?

Maybe you can also tell him I’m a Libra, and my sign is known for diplomacy, not murder.”

why do I feel like I’d rather burn this cabin to the ground than sit on that couch and watch another season of Schitt’s Creek? Nothing against the Roses, I’d die for Moira, but I’d also kill to get the hell out of here.

“For the record, there’s no fear on my end. I’ll punch Ted Bundy in the face if I have to.”

“Get in, losers, we’re going sleuthing.”