Butter: A Novel of Food and Murder

by Asako Yuzuki

I only want to spend my time with people who know the real thing when they see it. People who truly understand the value of the real thing are few and far between.

‘By focusing solely on the question of whether the victim was wrong to permit or encourage the taking of the photographs, the revenge porn debate has swung way off course. So long as we keep up this culture of victim-blaming, these kinds of cases will continue to happen.’

The women who had joined the company before her and shown her around had married and moved to other departments: books or sales. The job was impossible to manage alongside pregnancy and childcare, unless you had magical powers.

being women and their disadvantages

Their various causes of death – an overdose of sleeping pills, drowning in the bathtub, falling in front of a train – could all be read as either suicide or sheer accident, but the deciding factor in Kajii’s arrest had been the emergence of the information that in each case, she’d been with them right up until their deaths.

eschew

In principle, all women should give themselves permission to demand good treatment, but the world made doing so profoundly difficult.

On the nights when her confidence failed her, and she was struck by the urge to call Makoto and ask him to come over, she would keep herself in check, telling herself that she wouldn’t get away with being so demanding.

Her recent experience at Reiko’s had reminded Rika of just how much comfort the thoughtfulness and home-made food of another person could bring to a tired body and dried-up heart.

She could understand thinking that a person’s appearance and personality didn’t matter, that it didn’t even matter if you were being deceived – that you just wanted a soft, warm-bodied member of the opposite sex to call your own. And yet, she thought, and yet

It seemed that an anger she’d forgotten about for so long, kept sealed up all this time, was peeping through a crack in her skin. She didn’t know who the bad feeling was directed towards. Was it contemporary society she was angry with, for still demanding that women be good around the house as a matter of course? She herself never cooked a meal for a man, and had never been asked to do so either, and yet . . .

‘Did you just say margarine?’ ‘Yes, it’s lower in calories than butter. And isn’t it better for you, because it has less cholesterol? And besides, you know there’s a butter shortage going on at the moment . . .’ ‘Your problem is you’ve decided that butter is bad without even understanding what it tastes like. Margarine is far worse for your body than any butter. It’s all fake, full of trans-saturated fats. Listen, the thing you must know about dairy products is . . .’

Superior-quality butter should be eaten when it’s still cold and hard, to truly luxuriate in its texture and aroma.

Even without seeing it, you just know that it’s golden – that’s the way it tastes.

Oh, and one last matter: it’s not “beef stew”, it’s “boeuf bourguignon”. It’s a French recipe. I corrected them several times in court. I’m astounded by how ignorant you all are when it comes to food.

The bright, fresh taste of the shiso stimulated her appetite, and she found herself letting out an ‘mmmm’ of satisfaction. The fact that she’d created this taste herself added to the preciousness of the moment.

To make something yourself that you wanted to eat and eat it the way you wanted – was that the very essence of gratification?

she was sickened to the core by the idea that housework must be a woman’s job.

She’d heard rumours of female journalists who entered into physical relationships with their sources.

crass

lambast

compunction

perasaan bersalah

taciturn.

gak banyak omong (orang)

umbrage

recuperate.

The men’s weekly magazines unanimously covered the story as a hero’s tragic fall from grace, writing sympathetic articles portraying the occurrence as something that could happen to anyone.

It was as if he were saying: May this image of how low I’ve sunk brand itself into your minds, because it’s all your fault.

Men are inept creatures. They can’t build a life for themselves without the support and kindness of a woman.’

There’s not a man in the world who can’t be won over by a kind female presence who knows how to cook. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, after all.’

the Kajii case was tinged by misogyny and the excessive self-pity felt by lonely men.

But if it were me, she thought, I wouldn’t go down the road to self-destruction solely because I was lonely.

That’s how order is preserved in the natural world, across various ecosystems – by the ones who’ve just so happened to make it through by getting their own way. I know it can seem cruel. We’ve come to use the word “evolution” as though it were a resolutely positive thing, but all it means is that the species best-adapted for a particular environment survive, and the others die out.

She couldn’t fall into the trap of thinking that she understood simply because she’d read about it.

‘I was so desperate back then to fall in love, but there were no boys around, and since you were the most boyishly handsome person in sight, I had no choice but to become obsessed with you. I went a bit funny in the head.’

Instilling desire in someone was a lot of fun, regardless of whether that person was male or female.

Although her mother was staying over at her grandfather’s place more of late, she seemed to have no intention of giving up her own apartment, saying she wanted to keep hold of a space that was all her own.

‘Isn’t it hard, having Grandpa taking things out on you like that? I know he’s going senile and everything, but still.’ ‘Of course it is! It’s exasperating. Thank goodness I don’t live with him, and he’s got Etchan and the care worker as well, so it doesn’t get me down too much, but I don’t know what would happen if it were just the two of us. I’m sure that would sound pathetic to all those people caring for their parents full time.’

opulent

lavish

what they want is a capable hostess, who’ll listen to them wittering on. Those women do exist, but most of them are employed by the party hosts.

Both Rika’s grandfather and father had done nothing but criticise her, but she would laugh it off and end up catering to their selfish whims.

‘Rika, have you put on weight?’ Hearing the mocking tone of the question – not by any means the first today – Rika turned around in exasperation.

Men putting on weight is different from women putting on weight, though. I’m only saying this for your sake, Rika.

The beauty standards in the mass media are crazily exacting.

people are increasingly worried about making mistakes, and losing faith in their own judgement – they don’t know what “a good amount” looks like for them.

Nobody has to be fully satisfied by just one thing, and nor do they have to aim to be like everyone else. It’s plenty if people can enjoy things a good amount, and be satisfied with their life overall.

‘There is nothing in this world so pathetic, so moronic, so meaningless as dieting.’

‘For what purpose, exactly, do you want to lose weight? Are you worried about not being attractive to men? Because in that case, you have nothing to fear. Men are naturally attracted to shapely, full-figured women. When I say men, I’m of course referring to real men, who are emotionally mature, affluent, and capable of generosity. Men who favour women with bodies like skinny children are the ones with no confidence in themselves. They’re without exception servile, sexually and emotionally immature, with no capacity for financial generosity, either.’

She became a connoisseur of wine and created the trend for selecting wines based on their region of origin. Many of her innovations form indispensable elements of French cuisine as we know it today.’

Madame de Pompadour, she was a noblewoman who became Louis XV’s chief mistress.

At the end of the day, men were not looking for a real-life woman, but a professional entertainer.

‘It gives me pleasure to give men pleasure. It’s not ‘work’, at least as you conceive of it. Caring for, supporting and warming the hearts of men is women’s god-given role, and, without fail, performing it makes women beautiful. They become goddesses. Don’t you see? You find so many hard, spiky women these days because they lack love towards men, and are unsatisfied as a result. You have to understand that women can never hope to rival men’s power. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. When you acknowledge the differences between the sexes, when you accept men for how they are and work to support and please them, a future of freedom and abundance awaits you. Everyone is suffering because they’re trying to rail against the natural order of things.’

She found it impossible to picture their future in a way that seemed appealing. But this loss of confidence in their relationship was surely the result of their spending so little time together, so that her sense of him as a person was starting to fade.

shit i can relate to that