Butter: A Novel of Food and Murder

by Asako Yuzuki

She’d known back then that lots of girls wanted her. Even though she’d understood that she was desired as a substitute for a man, Rika had felt as though she was being validated in her entirety, in a way that made her special. Come to think of it, it was from around that point on that she had taken care that her body didn’t become rounded and soft. Ensured, too, that she was the best in both her studies and in sport, that she was boyishly rugged and aloof in her behaviour, all the while taking care that these efforts went undetected by people around her. In order to fulfil the wishes of the girls around her for a prince, she needed to excel at everything with cool, calm composure. Sometimes, with a classmate of her choosing, she would open the first couple of buttons of her school shirt, allowing a glimpse of the sturdy nape of her neck and collarbone. She would casually drape her arm around them, brushing shoulders in a way that seemed totally unaffected. Through their uniforms, she could feel their pulses racing. Instilling desire in someone was a lot of fun, regardless of whether that person was male or female.

Men are naturally attracted to shapely, full-figured women. When I say men, I’m of course referring to real men, who are emotionally mature, affluent, and capable of generosity. Men who favour women with bodies like skinny children are the ones with no confidence in themselves. They’re without exception servile, sexually and emotionally immature, with no capacity for financial generosity, either.’

As she spoke, Rika registered that Reiko’s eyes weren’t smiling in the slightest. The fat from the undigested foie gras instantly cooled inside her body, so she could feel its shape distinctly.

women are required to be self-denying, hard-working and ascetic, and in the same breath, to be feminine, soft and caring towards men. Everyone finds that an impossible balance to strike, and they struggle desperately as a result. Even when they do manage to strike it, there’s no redemption to be had. They’re never fully free. That’s what women are feeling.’

Eating was ultimately an individual and egoistic compulsion, Rika was starting to realise. A gourmand was ultimately a seeker of the truth. You could wrap up their mission in all kinds of fancy language, but they were simply confronting their desires day in and day out. As you learned to cook, you became increasingly able to shut out the outside world and create a fortress within your own spirit. You hunted down your prey, using fire and blades to fashion them into the form you desired. Reading Kajii’s blog posts, she’d been struck by her intense stoicism. It took a deathly earnestness to remain faithful to her desires at all times.

Milk was originally blood. In that case, was the butter in the Babaji story actually a metaphor for all the carnage that took place under the cover of the jungle? What seemed pure, white and creamy had its origins in vivid, bloody red – was that not the essence of this whole case?