The Boy Who Loved Wicked

by C.P. Harris

“‘Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.’”

He would’ve loved you, Caleb. And to wish he were still here would be to wish you had never been. The conflict of my desires will leave me forever broken. This entry and every entry after is for you.

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” ~Plato

“There is in every one of us, even those who seem to be most moderate, a type of desire that is terrible, wild, and lawless.” ~Plato

If someone had asked me to explain what triggered my interest in Mr. Wicked, what sent me crawling over the edge, it was his sadness. I fell in love with his sadness first.

I’d later wonder if falling in love with Sebastian was something I could, or couldn’t help. It was hard knowing the difference when loving him felt inevitable. Written in the stars.

“I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.” ~Plato

“Sometimes, you’ve gotta let people live out their own choices even when you know it’s wrong. Sometimes, they need to see for themselves that it won’t work. They need to be able to say they tried.” She’d said it could be a dangerous thing to get in that way of that.

We were battered and bloodied. There were more bruises than orgasms and every second felt borrowed. Stolen. We were criminals. We were toxic. We were fearless for the last time. We were beautiful for the last time too.

Love wasn’t a single act, but a daily practice of the most mundane. The accumulation of the little things. It wasn’t about specific events, or the intensity. It came down to consistency, to working hard and exercising the heart daily even when we looked in the mirror and didn’t see the benefits, because love took time and patience. And things are most rewarding when we sweat to get them.