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“I want your warmth, Delilah. You’re about the only source of it I have. I don’t want to give it up because of Jessica.”
She’s still searching my face, and I raise my hand and brush my knuckles over her jaw. “I’m sorry,” I say again, lower this time. Then I tilt her chin, my lips hovering just over hers. “I don’t like that I hurt you, and I’m sorry. Do you accept my apology?”
“Maybe you should show me how sorry you are,” she whispers. Even as the tension in my chest loosens, my cock swells. “You want me to get down on my knees and grovel, kitten?”
“I didn’t lock the door behind me,” she says, breathlessly. “I don’t care. The only people who will walk in here without an invitation are my brothers, and if they see you spread out with my mouth buried in your pussy, they’ll know you’re mine and they better do the polite thing and walk the fuck out again. Now lie back.”
I don’t know what it is about Cole, but when I’m with him, I feel . . . free. I do things I wouldn’t have considered before, and I like it. I like him. The flash of vulnerability in his eyes when he told me he didn’t have any warmth in his life made my heart hurt. Maybe I still should have walked away, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Just like him, I want more of whatever it is that burns between us. Even if it will probably flame itself out all too soon.
Cole will never want anything more than this with me, and that’s perfect.
Then, I really look at him, noticing the shadows under his eyes. “Are you okay?” I ask. He doesn’t answer my question. “Come here,” he says, holding out his arm for me.
“I should probably go home.” He feathers his lips down my neck. “Stay,” he murmurs against my skin. “What?” I lean back to meet his gaze. His brow is furrowed, as if he’s not sure of what he’s saying. “It’s late. You should stay.”
We might not be cuddling, but being here with him like this still feels special. I think I might be smiling as I drift off to sleep.
I’m not sure what came over me last night when I asked her to stay. No. That’s not true. I know exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking that I liked that she’d cooked for me. I liked that she’d laughed with me. I really liked what she’d let me do to her afterward. Having her with me after a long fucking week of work had felt good. More than good. I hadn’t wanted that feeling to go away. I hadn’t wanted her to go. And I don’t know what the hell to do with that.
“Cole,” she says. “Do you want me to—” “Do you want to come to lunch with my family today?” Her lips part and she stares at me. “You want me to spend time with your family?”
“My brothers already know about you.” “I know Tate does, but I didn’t realize they both do.” She bites her lip. “Won’t they think it’s strange that I’m with you today?”
“Good to see you again, Delilah,” Tate says, his lips curved into a smirk.
Delilah shrugs. “Mom worked very hard to give me a good life, and now I hope to do the same for her.” “What do you mean?” Tate asks before I can, and I glare at him. Delilah smiles in his direction, making my teeth grind again. “I’m saving up so that I can build a house for her. I’ve already started designing it. It’s going to be a surprise.”
“You’re obviously close to your mother,” Tate says. “I’ve always wondered what that’s like.” His lips curl, but I’d hardly call what his mouth is doing a smile.
Fuck it. I thread my fingers through hers again and look over at Tate and Roman. “I’ll see you in the office.” Then I look at Mom. “I’ll see you next month.” She’s staring at me in shock. “But Cole, we haven’t—”
I promised myself I would never get taken in by the illusion. I can’t start believing the lie that this can grow and become more—that it can last. That doesn’t happen in my world. What if it can? I close my eyes and claim her mouth again. I’d be stupid to let those thoughts take root. What if it’s already too late?
I’m still scared to allow myself to get my hopes up, only to be disappointed.
“I’ll see if I can pencil you in.” I roll my lips together. “You will, will you? I assumed you’d be wide open for me on Friday.” “Oh, no.” I match his suggestive tone. “I fill up very quickly.” “Fuck.” He lets out a groan. “If my meeting wasn’t about to start, I’d have you up here and bent over my desk before you could say, ‘I’m always open for you, Cole.’”
“I’m always open for you, Cole.”
He seems to know where he’s going, so I sit back and look out the window. Soon I see familiar sights, and my suspicion is confirmed. I’m smiling so broadly I can feel it in my cheeks as I pull out my phone and tap out a message to Cole. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I glance behind me and see the driver standing there with my bag. He holds it out to me. “Mr. King’s instructions are for me to pick you up at three p.m. tomorrow for your return flight.”
“I guess the only thing I can say is that people are complicated. Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to make sense of his behavior. Sometimes you can’t. Sometimes you just have to accept that people make selfish decisions all the time without thinking or caring about the consequences for the people they’re supposed to love the most.
I close my eyes and let my head fall back. I have to face the truth. My craving for her isn’t fading. It’s only growing stronger, even now, with time and distance between us. I need to figure out what the hell I’m going to do about it because at the moment, I feel like I’m standing at the edge of a ravine, one step away from plummeting over the edge. And I have no fucking idea what I’ll find at the bottom.
“Is everything okay? Are you back in New York? I thought I wouldn’t hear from you until tomorrow.” “I wanted to see you. Can I come up?” My pulse speeds up. “You’re here? Of course.”
I grab his arm and pull him into my apartment. “What are you doing here, Cole? Not that I’m not happy to see you.”
My feet stall, and my heart does a little flutter in my chest. Cole is standing at the counter with his back to me, wearing just his boxer briefs, while the early morning light illuminates his muscular body. Bowls, spoons, and various ingredients are spread on the surrounding countertop, and he’s peering intently at his phone, which is propped against a cookie jar. He’s making breakfast.
I’ve fallen for him. Hard.
He nods. “I don’t sleep with women.” My brows shoot up. “I think you’ve slept with plenty of women.” He shakes his head, focusing on me again. “I’ve fucked women. I’ve never slept with any of them until you.”
He’s still watching me, and the hint of wariness in his eyes hurts my heart a little. He really has no idea how to handle this. Whatever this is now. I reach up and curl my hand around the back of his neck and tug him down to my waiting lips.
I drop my head back and close my eyes, reliving the memory of her underneath me this morning—experiencing again that overwhelming need to claim every part of her. And it wasn’t just the desire to be as physically close to her as possible. It was how it felt holding her in my arms afterward. When she cried, my chest had constricted so hard that I’d struggled to breathe. Then the next second, my heart was thundering as she smiled up at me through tear-filled eyes.
“That’s why I wanted to talk to you,” Roman replies. “Berrington brought up your relationship with Jessica. He mentioned that if our families were closer, it might inspire him to keep his investments in place.”
“Jessica and I may have fucked, but I have no interest in spending the rest of my life with her. Why don’t you marry her?”
“What you give Jessica is a powerful alliance that elevates her to the top echelons of society. We get her father’s commitment to maintain his investment, which protects the one damn thing of any worth this family has going for it. Please don’t tell me you’d let that go for something that is completely replaceable. This is the best option we have without compromising the company’s financial position, and if that’s not motivation enough, then you’re not the man I thought you were.”
“Delilah will find someone who’ll care for her more than you ever could, and Jessica will never care about you enough to hate you.” “What’s the arrangement?” My voice is steady,
I try not to think of Delilah’s eyes, her smile, her voice, her laugh. Because in the end, I’m still the same man I was before I met her. And I know what I have to do.
“Delilah . . .” He scrubs his hand over his mouth but doesn’t continue. He just stares at me with his lips pressed together. I know what’s coming. My instincts scream it at me with an intensity that rasps anxiety down my nerves. “Just say it.” I’m relieved when my voice comes out with only a small tremor I hope he won’t notice. “Whatever it is, just say it.”
He clears his throat. “I know this is sudden, but it’s time we end this.”
His eyes shutter. “Jessica and I are getting engaged. I wanted to tell you before it’s officially announced.”
“What do you mean? You told me there was nothing real between you. You told me you weren’t sleeping with her anymore. You told me that. You promised.”
“Please, Cole. Please don’t do this. I thought this was working between us. I thought you were feeling the same—” He’s shaking his head before I even finish speaking. “Don’t, Delilah. Don’t make this harder than it has to be. This was always going to end, and you know that. We both knew it.”
My heart shatters into a thousand pieces. My head might have believed that, but my heart had succumbed to hope a long time ago. My heart, that is just as much of a liar as the man standing in front of me. Was this how my mom felt when my father walked away from her because she—we—didn’t fit his life?
“You can leave now.”
I don’t care if this isn’t easy for him. I don’t care if he didn’t intend to hurt me. He’s choosing this—he’s choosing her—so he can damn well suffer the consequences.
“Get out, Cole. I don’t want you in my home anymore. I don’t want you in my life. You want us to be over? Then we’re over. So get the hell away from me.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice hoarse. And then he’s gone.
Even though I love the idea of living closer to Mom, I know a part of my heart will always be here in New York. Or is it with Cole?
As soon as I get home this evening, I’ll call and arrange an interview time.
“What if he doesn’t? What if he looks at me, then looks at Jessica and thinks, ‘Thank god I made the right choice’?” Alex comes over, takes the dress out of my hands, and lays it carefully on the bed before wrapping me in her arms. “It doesn’t matter, Dee, because what he thinks is inconsequential. You have so much in front of you, and since he’s an asshole and obviously not your person, that means you still have your great love ahead of you. One day you’ll meet the man of your dreams and Cole will be a distant memory. He’ll be married to that bitch and living a miserable existence.”
“Don’t be like that,” he says, stroking his fingers down my forearm. “She was never you. I don’t know what I was thinking.” “I do. You were thinking you could have your cake and eat it too. You were wrong. Now I’d appreciate it if you leave me alone.”
