Dating & Dismemberment: A Monster RomCom (Mating and Monsters Book 1)
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Darla Drake was only thirty-two years old, but when she looked at her reflection, even though she knew she would live forever, and thirty-two out of infinity was less than zero percent of her life, she saw a monster who seemed far older than she actually was.
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“Never mind,” Dolores sighed. “It’s the pockets. Ever since you sewed pockets onto your tunic, you’ve been different.” “They’re helpful!”
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“And what exactly do you put in those pockets?” Dolores asked. “Certainly not the head of Kyle Browning.”
Julia Wellham
Hahahaaha
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“Premarital sex or recreational drug use may have been poor excuses to commit murder, but it’s just how things were done back in my
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“You’re just lucky Franklin Shine didn’t find your frailty and use it against you instead of that shovel.
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“I like Wilmer if it’s a boy and Shatterspine if it’s a girl.
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You just have to be open to it.” “I am open to it.” “You’re open like a barn door that’s nailed shut and on fire,”
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“Now why are you here?” “On this earth? Well, that’s a long story. I’ll start at the begin—” “No, smartass. Why are you in Clear Creek?”
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“Holy Bubbling Babadook,”
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“Then I’m thrilled to have cleared the very, very low bar for your expectations.” “Barely,” Darla said. “Barely cleared it. Almost tripped on it.”
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“I would have to say that when you put your mind to it, you can create some absolutely beautiful chaos.”
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Swamp water mixed with citrus, maybe a hint of pine needles and tree sap.
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“Thanks, Hatchet. I hope Gretl knows how lucky she is to have met someone like you.” “Eh, depends on her mood. Not to mention her Gobbler. I’ve caught that thing trying to eat my nose while I was sleeping more times than I can count,” Tyrone said.
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“Ugh, one time, he cried so hard he ruined my favorite pair of boots." “I got you a new pair!” “You got me a pair of crocs. And
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“Hey, whatever you’re cooking, it smells really, really good.” “First off, that’s not the point. Second off, I know.”
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But just because you were raised a certain way doesn’t mean you’re tethered to those ways for the rest of your life.”
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Let’s just say there are few things more satisfying than freezing a pyromaniac and then whupping them with a tentacle. Guy must have shattered into a hundred pieces.” “That sounds very cathartic,” Darla said.
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“I could teach you how to cook,” he said. “Hey, I’ve made muskrat before.” “How did it come out?” “My mother didn’t speak to me for a week.
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“She must be going quite a bit stir crazy.” “Or just crazy crazy.”
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“What are you making?” “Food,” Darla said. “Well, good, then. I happen to enjoy…food.”
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“He really said that? You’re not just blowing smoke?” “I don’t have lungs to blow smoke with,” Dolores said. “But yes. He said it.
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“Loneliness is a choice,” Darla said, “not a sentence.