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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
A.L. Brody
Read between
August 8 - September 23, 2023
She wanted to chase her down and shake her and find out why on earth she would lower herself to dating this popped collar troglodyte.
And though Darla’s body was capable of quite a number of things human bodies were not, it was not quite as flexible as some of the Darla Drake fanfic authors believed it to be.
😂
The last thing she needed was a group of foolish tourists accidentally stumbling into her bedroom (even if Darla made sure they didn’t make it out alive, she would forever have to live with the shame of a human having seen her while indecent).
“Darla, why on earth would you do that?” Dolores said. “We don’t let our prey live, Darla. We are Drakes. We have been the Scourges of Clear Creek for over eight decades. We have a reputation to protect.” “Well, I guess my reputation just took a hit.”
“Never mind,” Dolores sighed. “It’s the pockets. Ever since you sewed pockets onto your tunic, you’ve been different.”
Never give the women pockets. They’ll rebel!
“How many times do I have to tell you, Mom?” Darla said, frustrated. “After Franklin Shine decapitated you, he and the other counselors took your body and buried it somewhere in Clear Creek.” “It was his own fault,” Dolores said. “Didn’t you tell me you hunted him because he was making out with a girl?” “He most certainly was. And you know very well what we did to people who looked like they were about to engage in premarital sex back in my day.”
Thankfully, these things had a ton of battery life; there were fewer things that made Darla feel sillier than sneaking into a cabin while the campers were at soccer practice to charge her mom’s book.
😂 gotta get some electricity in your hovel.
Darla brought the book to the dining room table, propped her feet up, and read for a few hours. The fighting scenes were exciting, the shagging scenes were more tepid than cave water runoff,
😂
One Year Later
A whole year with no hunts!
Gretl nodded. “I like Wilmer if it’s a boy and Shatterspine if it’s a girl. Tyrone is iffy on Shatterspine, but said if it’s a boy he wants to name it after his father, Saberface. But we also have a few backups in case we see her and something else just fits.” “Those names are lovely,” Darla said. “I’m really happy for you, Gret.”
My vote is for Shatterspine.
“Gretl obviously found a purpose other than the hunt. There are plenty of monster moms who find time to raise kids and maim on a regular basis. You can have both, sweetie, if that’s what you want.”
(the Slicer was so fast that she could reportedly deal out five hundred paper cuts a minute using nothing but the ripped-out page from a book).
Death by 1000 papercuts is a horrible way to go
Randy Horvath was lucky he’d been to escape the sting of Darla Drake’s scourge. Unfortunately for Randy, his luck had run out.
Get him Darla!
“You have a better chance of seeing me naked than you do of seeing where I live.” Jarko grinned. “Who says we can’t do both?”
Oh he flirting!
“let me get this straight. I want you to respond with yes and no. And only yesses and nos.” “Okay, but in my defense—” “I said only yesses and nos!” The Gobbler inside her mouth shot out and wagged a tiny finger at Darla before going back inside. “Okay. Go.” “Another monster is in Clear Creek.” “Yes, and—” “What did I say?” “Yes.” “Named Marko—” “Jarko.” “Jarko Murkwater.” “Murkvale.”
🤣 Gobbler is giving “boomer parent who mispronounces all your friend’s names”
“I taught myself. You live your life tethered to the way you were raised to do things instead of doing things the way you want to do them, you’ll never really be living your own life.”
Darla smacked her head. “How could a tree trunk through the roof be explained rationally?” Jarko thought for a moment. “Tsunami.”
“Are there any…other body parts you can extend like your arms and neck?” “Just one,” Jarko said with a grin, “but I only reveal that during a very different kind of hunt.”
“So, fifteen years without a body,” Jarko said. “Your mom must be pissed.” “You don’t know the half of it. I mean, every kid disappoints their parents in some way. Not being able to find the rest of your mother’s body is some pretty big baggage to carry.”
I thought this was supposed to be a secret
“Know what else those initials stand for?” When Darla paused, he said, “Aryan Brotherhood.” Darla’s eyes widened. “It’s a Nazi bar.”
We’re hunting natzis now?!
“And then what happened?” Darla asked softly. “And then you came along.” Before she knew what she was doing, Darla had placed her hand on Jarko’s cheek, feeling the rough texture of his skin, then leaned in and gently pressed her lips to his.
“Whatever. During this…thing…you two ended up making out.” “I wouldn’t call it making out.” “So, what was it, then?” “My face and his face ended up in the same general vicinity.” “Was there any other touching than of the face variety?”
🤣
“Baby! The baby is coming!” “Now?” Darla said. “No! Next week! Yes, now!” “Holy crap! What can I do?”
When it cried, Darla could see the teeniest, tiniest Gobbler inside its mouth, and her heart swelled with joy for her best friend.
Congratulations!
What if one night I think you need help and smite the wrong person? You could end up with your frailty exposed. And that would be on me. I decided I just can’t risk that. I can’t risk you.”
Ugh the unnecessary worrying
“Can you imagine having to go back to work a few weeks after squeezing something the size of a bowling ball out of your body?” Gretl said. “No way humans make each other do that,” Darla said.
“That monsterfucker,” Darla said. Standing at the other end of the lake, talking it up with half a dozen monsters and appearing to have the time of his life, was Jarko Murkvale.
Why are you mad when you literally invited him?
“What is that?” She stepped closer. Nudged the bottom of the sack. Felt what she swore was… “No. No way. You didn’t. You couldn’t. Is that…?” Jarko nodded. “I found the rest of your mother’s body.”
Finally. So this woman can get out of the house.
“Everyone else knows you as the Duchess of Death. The Creature of Clear Creek. I know Darla Drake. And I want to make sure you know it.” “What do you want, Jarko?” “You, Darla Drake. I want you.”
Fucking finally
Darla knew he would do anything for her. And she would for him as well. “I love you, Darla Drake,” Jarko said. “I love you too,” she said.
This came a little out of nowhere
“The first time I laid eyes on you,” Jarko said, “up there on the roof of the office building, you took my breath away.” “The first time I laid eyes on you,” Darla said, “I wanted to cut off all your limbs and cover your mangled torso with hot sauce.”
