Dating & Dismemberment: A Monster RomCom (Mating and Monsters Book 1)

by A.L. Brody

She wanted to chase her down and shake her and find out why on earth she would lower herself to dating this popped collar troglodyte.

For the first time in her life, Darla Drake, the Duchess of Death, the Creature of Clear Creek, one of the most feared monsters alive, had left a victim before she was finished with him. Now she just needed to understand why in the name of Cthulhu’s butthole she’d done it.

Was it a rule that all Kyles were assholes? Come to think of it, Trevors were pretty shitty too. And Blakes.

Yet somehow, she knew she had to do it, that sometimes you had to do what felt wrong to get to what felt right. You couldn’t change your life if you kept doing the same thing over and over again.

“You have a better chance of seeing me naked than you do of seeing where I live.” Jarko grinned. “Who says we can’t do both?”

“There is a very fine line between murder and sexual tension.”

You live your life tethered to the way you were raised to do things instead of doing things the way you want to do them, you’ll never really be living your own life.”

“Are there any…other body parts you can extend like your arms and neck?” “Just one,” Jarko said with a grin, “but I only reveal that during a very different kind of hunt.”

She gestured at the e-reader in front of her mother. “How’s the book?” “Eh,” Dolores said. “Not enough smut.”

At that moment, a terrible realization came over Darla. She knew in that moment that even if you loved someone, loved them with all of your heart, it didn’t mean they would always be there when you woke up.

But sometimes love means not seeing everything. Or ignoring the things you don’t want to because they don’t fit the picture you have in your mind. And then things…slip. And you can lose track of what matters the most.”

Jarko smiled. “C’est une belle nuit pour le chaos.” “I heard a chaos in there,” she said. “What did you say?” “I said it’s a beautiful night for chaos.”

“And then what happened?” Darla asked softly. “And then you came along.”

SQUEALING

“Maybe some monsters are just meant to be lonely.” “Loneliness is a choice,” Darla said, “not a sentence. I’ve been making that choice for too long. I’m willing to make a different one.”

“Can you imagine having to go back to work a few weeks after squeezing something the size of a bowling ball out of your body?” Gretl said. “No way humans make each other do that,” Darla said. “They aren’t that sadistic. I bet humans treat their moms pretty well.”

“Never seen you before,” Mantula said.“It takes a lot of courage and some mighty big balls to land a sucker punch.” “Takes a monster with no balls to touch someone who didn’t ask for it.”

“I don’t know to explain it,” he said. “It’s like when I’m near you there’s this electricity inside of me and it runs through my bones. And it surges through my blood. And I can feel it in my fingertips. And when I’m with you…I feel like I’m on fire. I feel alive.”

“I know you can. The only time I’ve ever felt this alive is when I was hunting,” Jarko said. “I would tear apart a thousand monsters and cut off my own limbs before I let anyone else touch you.”

“Sometimes you do things without really thinking about why you do them. You just do them because you know you should. You’ve learned not to question your gut. And once you’re doing them, you just know deep down that it’s the right thing to do.”

“You’ve never called me Darla before.” Jarko smiled. “Everyone else knows you as the Duchess of Death. The Creature of Clear Creek. I know Darla Drake. And I want to make sure you know it.” “What do you want, Jarko?” “You, Darla Drake. I want you.”

“I swear on the eternal lives of every monster and demon who came before me, and the graves of those whose frailties have been used against them, I will never leave you.”

“The first time I laid eyes on you,” Jarko said, “up there on the roof of the office building, you took my breath away.” “The first time I laid eyes on you,” Darla said, “I wanted to cut off all your limbs and cover your mangled torso with hot sauce.”

“Welcome back to Clear Creek, Lewis” Darla said. Jarko added, “We hope you enjoy your stay.”