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No matter how he tries to insist otherwise, I’m more than his patient now. More than his friend. Even if he’s still never accepted pleasure from me. Even if he only doles it out so sparingly I could starve between the nights he really looks my way.
and if I still think he’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, well, we’ve both gotten pretty good at ignoring that too.
The image is chased away by another, of her kneeling next to me, our trembles and tears mixing as we wait to serve a different master.
After a beat of silence, Dom’s golden gaze swings back to Beau. Their eyes lock. Even after all these years, I’m not sure I completely understand their relationship. For a while I thought maybe they were like me. But I figure I’ve got secret desire pretty much locked down by now, and I just don’t see it curling between them.
The team is tight enough, but we all know these guys are partners. They balance each other, watch each other’s six, and they’d leave the rest of us in the dirt before they’d leave each other.
Seeing them together the other day wrecked me. I’m still not sure how it can be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen and yet still make me want to yank my heart out through my mouth just to make it stop hurting. I’ve gotten myself off six times since, just picturing him pleasuring her, remembering the short, gaspy pants she made and the look on her face when she came—and it only made me cry once. Okay, twice.
When I move to take Jasper’s plate, his hand grasps my belt under the counter, and I still. I think I forget to breathe.
“Look at me, Lucien,” he murmurs.
The icy irritation has melted from his features and he’s looking at me with his Sir eyes. He’s looking at me like. . . Fuck, the curve of his mouth is so pretty. He is so pretty. I’ve never seen softer-looking lips—except maybe Eden’s.
Those beautiful lips purse into a severe line. “Captain Slade can wait.”
I nod in response, not trusting my voice, and the line of his mouth softens in approval. He likes it when I disobey Dom for him. I know he does.
During one of our scenes, after he’d whipped me until I was wrung raw and crying at his feet, he rewarded me by wrapping one of those used silk shirts around my swollen cock and stroking me until I spilled everything I had into the fabric. Even the thought of it makes me want to pass out all over again.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts. He looked at her like he was captivated. Owned. Alive. But not at me. Not like that.
“If I asked something selfish of you, would you do it?”
“Anything. I’ll do anything for you,”
“You don’t even know what I’m asking yet,” he mutters, letting out a sound suspiciously close to a groan. It goes right to my dick.
He doesn’t answer, but the pad of his thumb brushes over my lips. I shudder, caught. My every atom zeroes in on that single point of contact. His thumb drags over my lip harder, smearing it. Owning it.
“Ah, Nietzsche. I find his thoughts on master–slave morality fascinating,” he murmurs.
“So, should I mistrust you, Jasper?”
“Only if you have done something that warrants punishment,”
“You might do well to teach her a few lessons before she comes to me, Lucien, since you’re fond of her.”
Jasper doesn’t respond right away. That chilling, deadly stance returns as he faces Lucky; it would look almost lazy, if not for the treacherous tilt to his mouth. Lucky gives an uncomfortable roll of his shoulders under that stare, grimacing. The flush deepens over his cheeks.
She’s every inch the librarian today, and damn if it doesn’t leave me hard as a rock.
My T-shirt lifts with the motion, and I pretend not to notice when her eyes light on my bared skin. Smugness makes me want to grin,
the thought of dominating anyone—even with gorgeous and clearly submissive Eden laid out on a platter—somehow doesn’t seem so appealing as it once did. Not that the attraction isn’t there, because it is. I haven’t been this attracted to anyone since, well, since Jasper. But I would much rather both of us be under him, at his mercy, than have her at mine.
The more we talk, the more I think maybe we can try this without kink. Maybe we can be together, just the two of us, without thoughts of Jasper and pain and tears. Maybe she and I can be enough for each other, and she’ll drown out the way I ache for him.
He rubs the back of his head the way he does when he’s uncomfortable. It makes his shirt ride up again and, like a magnet, my gaze is drawn to the defined V of golden muscle peeking over the top of his low-slung gray sweatpants.
Smooth, golden skin covers corded, defined muscles. He isn’t bulky, but his clean lines and tight, cut abs send me right into danger of combustion. I clench my hands as my fingers itch to slide over him, and I try to keep my gaze somewhere safe. Damn it, he’s gorgeous.
But, for all his teasing, Lucky hasn’t once looked at me mockingly. He’s always invited me in on the joke—never made me the butt of it.
“Good girl.” My stomach gives a low, hard flip. “Lucky . . .” The word comes out husky.
Lucky’s breath snags. His eyes meet mine, and he slowly, so slowly, sucks his lower lip into his mouth. When it pops back out, it’s ...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
Ended up getting pulled into the Rangers when I was twenty and met Dom and Beau then. They’d been in the squad together a while already. Jayk and Thomas came in about two years later—they’d been in other divisions and transferred.
Something about the naughty curve to his lips has me wondering what it would feel like to have them buried between my thighs. My core throbs and my balance wavers. I swallow hard, looking away as heat flames in my cheeks. “What was that thought?” Lucky asks, voice dipping into a low, rough drip that shivers down my spine.
Lucky shrugs one shoulder, but there’s a pleased glow to his smile as he grabs his bottle for a drink. Guy would roll over and show his belly for a compliment, I swear.
“Don’t you know? Tragic hero is my aesthetic.” His dimple flashes. “Just like bossy jerk is yours, grumpy Hulk is Jayk’s, self-righteous sweetheart is Beau’s, and sexy nerd is Eden’s.”
“I am not self-righteous!” I scoff. “I’m a doctor. I help people!”
I’m starting to wonder if I’m wishing on a star here. Maybe it was a pipe dream, this idea of us staying close and making a family together with the right girl. Something born of teenage hormones and a friendship that hadn’t really been tested yet.
“Bet I can embarrass you in front of our girl,” Lucky teases. Our girl. After Dom’s rejection, the phrase is like cool water on a livid burn. Our girl. Not just mine and Dom’s. Mine and Lucky’s. Jayk’s. Jasper’s.
Survival tip #111 Trust your doctor. They know what’s best for your body.
As soon as I turn toward the house, the face disappears and her curtains are yanked back into place. A slow, stupid smile works its way across my face. Nice try, little subbie.
Her hair is out of its usual bun, and I’m surprised to see it flows almost to her waist. I want to see it spread out beneath her as she comes apart.
Jealousy cuts through my amusement in a way that never used to happen before. Before, we always shared. Before, having a subbie ask me about Dom would have filled me with satisfaction. Now I’m just wondering if she’s asking because she likes him more.
“Hi,” she says again, softly. My heart melts in my chest with one tiny splash. It’s as natural as breathing to press a light kiss against her rosy lips. “Hi,” I murmur back.
“Hey, beautiful.” “Lucky?” I prompt. “Do you mind?”
Lucky looks at me in surprise. “Oh! Of course. Sorry.” He leans up and kisses me on the cheek. “You’re beautiful too, Beau,” he says seriously.
My lips twitch. “Word to the wise, darlin’, it ain’t a real good idea to lie to your dom.”
“Lucky is the devil himself, and if he gets me killed, I would appreciate it if you buried him next to me so I can haunt him in our next life.”
“Eden!” I break in, voice edged hard in stern command. “Enough.” At my tone, she pulls back, her mouth snapping shut, and her hands clutching at her skirt. Her eyes darken with awareness, and spots of ardent color appear on her cheeks.
she thinks I’m all apple pie and slow talk, she’s in for the shock of her life.
“You want me to give you a check-up, is that what you’re askin’?”
