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“Violence, indeed.”
“You should take her at her word. In fact…” Xaden doesn’t bother to lower his voice. “If you don’t, I’ll take personal offense. She made her choice, and it wasn’t you. It will never be you. I know it. She knows it. The whole quadrant knows it.”
Liam was the strongest of our year, and that didn’t
Liam Mairi,”
Lieutenant Riorson.”
I’ll never push another library cart with Liam.
the look in Liam’s when he realized Deigh wasn’t going to make it.
“Whatever is going through that beautiful mind, I’m here for it.” Even from this distance, I can see his gaze darken.
“Picking a fight for you. There’s a difference.”
“Secrets make for poor leverage. They die with the people who keep them.”
“Because you still love me.”
Violence.”
Jack Barlowe—the rider who’d been intent on killing me until I killed him instead.
“I heard about…” Her face falls. “I’m sorry. He was always really nice to me.” “Thank you. I really miss him.”
It is one thing to cross the parapet your first year. But watching countless candidates lose their life to it feels a little like dying, too. Don’t watch if you can help it. —Page Eighty-Four, the Book of Brennan
I meant what I said on the parapet. Even when I’m not with you, there’s only you.
“She made it,” I whisper up to Liam.
“If Solas comes near you again, he knows I will devour his human whole and let him rot within me while his heart still beats, and then I’ll take the eye I so graciously left him.”
She can’t know. She just can’t. I barely survived losing Liam… I can’t fathom anything happening to her.
I fucking love your hair. If you ever want to bring me to my knees or win an argument, just let it down. I’ll get the point.
Gods, he’s beautiful. The mage lights illuminating the chamber highlight every carved line of roped muscle on his chest and abs and play off the angles of his face. And when he turns, the hundred and seven scars that mark his back catch the light under Sgaeyl’s relic. I stare. I can’t help it. His body is a work of art, honed to lethal perfection. I know every inch of it, and yet I’m still gawking, transfixed like it’s the first time I’ve seen him half-dressed. This should absolutely not be turning me on, but the way he moves, the lethal grace in each and every calculated strike… Yep. Turned
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Maybe it’s toxic as hell, but it’s pointless to deny that every single part of me is attracted to every facet of Xaden. And it’s not just his body. It’s…everything. Even the darkest parts of him, the parts I know are merciless, willing to annihilate anyone and everyone who stands between him and a goal, pull me in like a moth to a fucking flame.
I’ve missed watching him in the gym, sparring with Garrick. I’ve missed being with him on the mat, feeling his body over mine as he puts me on my back over and over again. I’ve missed the tiny moments in my day when our eyes would meet in a crowded hallway, the bigger moments when I’ve had him all to myself. I’m so damn in love with him that it hurts, and for the moment, I can’t remember why I’m denying myself.
“I’m about three seconds away from carrying you up to my bedroom to continue this conversation.” His hand slides along my jaw, his thumb caressing my lower lip.
Home. Gods, he tastes like home.
He’s gravity, pulling me back to him by the force of his existence.
“I want you more than my next breath,
“You still don’t trust me, and that’s all right. I told you I’m not in this for a battle. I’m winning the damned war. I’m a fucking fool for saying this, but when haven’t I been a fool when it comes to you?”
“I’ll kiss you whenever you want because my self-control is shit where you’re involved—” “Whenever I want?” My brows shoot up. What the hell is happening right now? “Yes, whenever you want, because I’ll live with my mouth attached to yours if I do it whenever I want.”
“But I’m begging you, Violet. Don’t offer me your body unless you’re offering me everything. I want you more than I want to fuck you. I want those three little words back.”
Missing Xaden is illogical and annoying and kind of pathetic, but I can’t make the feeling ebb.
So why does every instinct I have scream we won’t?
“Liam is immeasurably grateful right now.”
“I did that for your brother,” I tell Sloane, keeping eye contact even though the hatred shining through hers hurts like hell. “He was one of my closest friends, and I promised him while he was fucking dying that I’d look after you. So here I am, looking after you.”
“You’re right,” I interrupt. “He would. And I miss him every single day. And because of the love I have for him, it’s okay that you hate me. You can think whatever you need to about me if it gets you through the day, Sloane.
“Violet saved his life during War Games. He fell off Deigh’s back, and it was Violet and Tairn who flew after him and caught him.”
“Before last year, I might have seen you as an appetizer.”
“But I’m livid that you’ve put your life at risk for me. That’s not something I can handle.”
“You didn’t hold him, watch the light fade out of his eyes, knowing that there wasn’t a physical thing wrong with him but he was dying because Deigh lay eviscerated just a few feet away. Nothing I did in those moments before mattered! Gods, I held on to him so tightly!” My hands curl into fists, my nails biting into my palms. “My shoulders almost dislocated, he was so damned heavy, but I held on! And it didn’t matter!” Rage burns my throat, devouring me whole. “You haven’t seen what’s out there! What makes me run every fucking morning!” “Vi,” she whispers, her posture sagging. “And the look on
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What we build together has to be strong enough to withstand a storm. Or a war. Easy isn’t going to give that to us.”
“We’re no longer friends, and I’ll be ready to talk when the sight of you doesn’t make me want to bury my knife in your chest all the way to the fucking hilt.” I walk away before I act on the urge to stab the memory-stealing asshole.
“Violence, remember it’s only the body that’s fragile. You are unbreakable.”
“I’m in love with Xaden Riorson.”
“Violence, are you all right?”
“I’m not always calm or collected, and I’m never in control when it comes to you.”
“I would have done the same thing you did because I’m just as reckless for you as you are for me.”
“I want you exactly how you are, emotions and all. I want the woman I fell for. It kills me every time I have to keep my hands off you, every night I lie awake next to you, both blessed and damned with the memory of how hot, how wet, how fucking perfect you feel when I’m losing myself in you.”
“Gods, look at you. You are all I’m ever going to want. Just you. Just this. Just us.”
“Death of me, I swear.”
“I told you in Aretia—I would rather lose this entire war than live without you.”
