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“What do you want from me?” I ask them, striding into the room. “Want me to walk Parapet and prove my bravery? Done. Want me to betray my kingdom by defending Poromish citizens? Done. Want me to keep his secrets?” I gesture toward Xaden with my left hand. “Done. I kept every secret.”
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Because love, at its root, is hope. Hope for tomorrow. Hope for what could be. Hope that the someone you’ve entrusted your everything to will cradle and protect it. And hope? That shit is harder to kill than a dragon.
As dragons ferociously guard both their young and any information regarding their development, only four facts are known about the Dreamless Sleep. First, it is a critical time of rapid growth and development. Second, the duration varies from breed to breed. Third, as the name suggests, it is dreamless, and fourth, they wake up hungry.
“And clearly your discretion lacks common fucking sense,”
“Stop,” Xaden orders. “You gambled and you lost. You can’t expose what you think the truth is without…well, exposing it, can you?” A cruel smile tilts Xaden’s lips. “But personally, I think this is all easily solved by a missive to General Melgren. Surely he saw the outcome of our battle with the gryphons.” Satisfaction courses through me at the way the colonel’s features slacken.
“Touch me and I swear to the gods, I’ll cut your fucking hands off and let the quadrant sort you out in the next round of challenges, Dain Aetos.”
Yes bitch!!!
“You should take her at her word. In fact…” Xaden doesn’t bother to lower his voice. “If you don’t, I’ll take personal offense. She made her choice, and it wasn’t you. It will never be you. I know it. She knows it. The whole quadrant knows it.”
“But in case it’s not, every time you think of reaching for her face, I want you to remember one word.” “And what is that?” Dain seethes. “Athebyne.” Xaden pulls back, and the pure menace in his expression sends a shiver along my skin. Dain’s spine stiffens as Colonel Panchek calls the formation to attention. “No response? Interesting.”
A resounding boo sounds around the table. “Pretty much everyone saw you show up to formation in his flight jacket before War Games,” Nadine says. “And after this morning’s display? Please.”
“Secrets make for poor leverage. They die with the people who keep them.”
lowers his mouth to only a breath above mine. “We managed to keep each other alive today. Trust me yet?” My heart jolts. I can almost taste his kiss, and gods, I want it. “With my life,” I whisper. “That’s all?” His mouth hovers above mine, all promise and no delivery. “That’s all.” Trust is earned, and he isn’t even trying. “Too bad,” he whispers, lifting his head. “But like I said, anticipation is a good thing.”
“You’d have thought your mother would have held off the storm last year, considering you were crossing.”
“Secrets die with the people who keep them,” he whispers, bringing his nose an inch from mine. His eyes are light brown but rimmed in red as though he’s on some kind of drug. Aetos.
Sgaeyl watched me kill another cadet for bullying Garrick during Threshing. She says she chose me for my ruthlessness, but I think I just reminded her of my grandfather. —Recovered Correspondence of Lieutenant Xaden Riorson to Cadet Violet Sorrengail
“I want you more than my next breath, but I can’t fuck you into looking at me like you used to. I refuse to use sex as a tool to get you back.” He takes my hand and presses it to my chest. “Not when I want to be here.”
“But I’m begging you, Violet. Don’t offer me your body unless you’re offering me everything. I want you more than I want to fuck you. I want those three little words back.”
He’s not asking to hear that I want him. He wants to hear that I love him.
Jesinia brings me The Unabridged History of the First Six the next day, which is not only a three-hundred-year-old text but marked Classified in the endpapers, and I keep my side of the deal, handing over The Fables of the Barren.
I would say jesinia isdef gonnna dienbut she does translatw these texts soo i thnk s i safe
“It’s not an idle threat, Dain. You will bleed out on this mat if you even think of taking a single one of my memories.”
“Do you know who carved those wounds into his skin?”
“You want to fight for me?” I reach up into my hair and pull the pins loose one by one, letting them fall to the stone floor. “Then take a chance without knowing how I feel. You want my heart back? Risk yours first this time.” “If I tell you how I feel right now, you’d never trust that I’m not just desperate for your body.” His brow furrows. “Exactly my point.” The last pin falls from my hair. “Choose, Xaden. You can let me walk out that door, or you can be the one who takes what I’m willing to give this time.” I shake my hair loose and run my fingers through the wet mass to unravel the braid.
“I just spent eight hours terrified of what condition I’d find you in, and I’m telling you that I don’t just want you. I need you. There are your three words.” I tug the wet string, and it gives. “That’s all you get. Take me or leave me.”
He growls into my neck and drives wildly with his hips, consuming me with abandon, and I realize that this is what I craved beyond anything else, even beyond his secrets—his loss of control.
“We can hardly expect a second-year to shield out the overpowering emotions of her dragon when even we struggle as officers, let alone one as strong as Tairn.” “Maybe you struggle,” Varrish snips, losing his customary slick indifference. “Some of us do not bow to the whims of our dragons. In fact, we influence them.” “Well, that’s certainly a theory worth contemplating.” Kaori pauses, waiting for a reply that doesn’t come. “Odd. Would that mean you influenced Solas when he set fire to that squad of bonded riders after Parapet?”
“Well, that death was kind of a second chance for me. You don’t know who you really are until you face down Malek. So, the way I see this is I just gave you a second chance, too. We’re even.”
“Then it’s a good thing we have access to a prince who happens to hate his father.”
Fuck him. “Does Solas enjoy hiding?” My voice croaks, and I cough. He blinks but quickly masks his surprise. “Just because you’ve blocked my ability to talk to Tairn doesn’t mean he doesn’t know exactly what you’ve done to me.” My lip splits again when I force a smile. “You’re hunting Xaden. But Tairn is hunting Solas. You’re the weaker on both counts. I might die in this chamber, but I promise you will.”
“I do. I’m sorry if you expect me to do the noble thing. I warned you. I’m not sweet or soft or kind, and you fell anyway. This is what you get, Violet—me. The good, the bad, the unforgivable. All of it. I am yours.” His arm wraps around the small of my back,
“You want to know something true? Something real? I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been since the night the snow fell in your hair and you kissed me for the first time. I’m grateful my life is tied to yours because it means I won’t have to face a day without you in it. My heart only beats as long as yours does, and when you die, I’ll meet Malek at your side. It’s a damned good thing that you love me, too, because you’re stuck with me in this life and every other that could possibly follow.” My
My mother’s blade is at his throat. Oh shit.
“When you have children, we can discuss the risks you’ll take, the lies you’ll be willing to tell in order to keep them safe.”
“When you are a mother, talk to me about who you’re willing to sacrifice so your child lives. Now walk.”
“I put you into the Riders Quadrant so you’d have a shot at surviving, and then I called in the favor Riorson owed me for putting the marked ones into the quadrant.” I stop as the door at the Archives level comes into view. “You did what?” She didn’t just say what I think she did. She tilts her head to look me in the eye. “It was a simple transaction.
With all we’ve sacrificed for this kingdom, we’d better be able to defend it. —The Journal of Warrick of Luceras —Translated by Cadet Violet Sorrengail
“Brennan?” Mira croaks, and I move back a couple of steps to give them room. “How?” “Hey, Mira.” He’s less than a dozen feet away, his grin widening. “You’re alive?” She stumbles forward, shaking her head. “After… I mean… It’s been six years, and you’re…alive?” “In the flesh.” He opens his arms. “Gods, it’s good to see you.” She draws back her fist and punches him straight in the face.
“Seriously?” Brennan remarks. “Right in front of me?” “Oh, this is tame for them,” Mira replies. “Wait until they decide to basically climb each other in a public place. You can’t burn that shit out of your head, trust me.”
“So what are the Sorrengail siblings going to do now that you’re all reunited?” Xaden asks, lifting his head to look at my family. “We’re going to beat the shit out of our brother,” Mira answers with a smile.
He glances up at the gryphon above him, and the trio parts, revealing the figure waiting directly behind them. A figure dressed entirely in black. His jaw flexes, his hands curl at his sides, and his beautiful face… Well, he hasn’t looked at me with that much anger since discovering my last name at Parapet, back when he wanted to kill me. Guess I should be careful what I ask for, because I’m so fucked. “You aren’t where I left you, Violence.”
Let’s get one thing straight. If I ever see a way to keep you safe? I’ll take it.” The fuck he will. “Do you know who you sound like right now?” “Please, enlighten me.” He folds his arms across his chest. “Dain.” I shut the door in his face.
“I was going to remind you that it’s probably bad manners to stab our hostess, but you know what?” She shrugs. “Fuck it. We don’t need a luminary.”
Though her extraordinary signet allows her to extend the wards around herself and her dragon, Cadet Sorrengail lacks the consistent ability to produce her own wards without extreme emotional distress. I’m sorry to report I doubt this ability will develop in time. I had such hopes for her. —Memorandum from Professor Carr to General Sorrengail
mouthpeice
It’s…easy, like I know the choreography. Like it’s muscle memory. Her stance adjusts, and I jump back a second before she kicks out. Connecting only with air, her balance falters as I land, and she stumbles sideways. Holy shit. She fights like Xaden. He trained both of us.
“You seem angry, Violet. Are you just now realizing you’re nothing special? That you’re just a convenient placeholder he can fuck?” Her laugh is low and cruel. “I know how good he is. I’m the one who taught him that little trick he does with his fingers. You know, the one where he curls—”
“Look at where we are. Riorson House.” Her mouth is close enough to my ear that I can feel how hard she’s breathing. “Who wouldn’t love all that power and the case it comes in? But I’m sure as hell not fighting you over a man’s affections. I’m going to war with you for a crown. That was the reason we were engaged. It was promised to me, and I’m not giving it to a damned Sorrengail who chose to drop the flier instead of her squadmate. Your entire family deserves to die for what you’ve put us through.”
I’m going to fucking kill her. How dare she come after me, like I had a choice in Luella’s fall? Like I had anything to do with Xaden’s choice to leave her? Fuck that. How dare she come after what’s mine. He isn’t a crown. He isn’t a stepping stool for power. He isn’t a tool to elevate her standing. He’s everything.
“Did you steal my memories every time you touched my face last year?”
“I fucked up.” A deep breath later, he opens them. “I fucked up and trusted my dad when I should have trusted your judgment. And there’s nothing I can say or do that’s going to bring them back—bring Liam back.” “No,
“Are you in love with him?” he asks, his voice breaking on the last word as he pivots to face me fully. “Because Garrick and I heard the end of what he said in the interrogation chamber, and trust me, I might be in love with him after that declaration, but are you? Really and truly?”
