Their lashing out is unprocessed stuff, which is why even a mild critique or crisis can set off shame about their vulnerability or imperfection being on full display. These ego injuries then set off their rage and blame shifting, which allow them to reduce tension, maintain their grandiose facade, and feel safe. The lack of empathy and impulsivity mean that they can’t stop to catch themselves and consider how their lashing out may hurt you. Instead, they will issue a hollow apology and get frustrated if you try to hold them accountable.
