The confusion comes from the narcissistic person going between charming, fun, and charismatic, or at least normal and regulated, to abusive, sullen, and enraged. Their self-appraisal is high when things are going their way, and when things are not, they blame the world and shift to viewing themselves as a victim. As a result, you can’t always anticipate which version of the narcissist you will be dealing with—the grandiose and cheerful one or the dejected, victimized, and angry one. Makes for a bit of a wild and uncomfortable ride.
