It’s not accurate to say narcissistic people are devoid of empathy. Their empathy is hollow and variable. Narcissistic people have cognitive empathy—they may understand what empathy is and why someone feels a certain way, and they may use it to get what they want. Once they get what they want, or they can’t be bothered, the empathy fades. Narcissistic empathy can also be performative—to look good to other people, to win someone over—and it can also be transactional, mustering it to get what they need from someone else. This can feel really galling because it shows you that they know that
...more
