This takes us to the bedrock of narcissism, which is insecurity. Narcissism is not about high self-esteem or low self-esteem as much as it is about inaccurate, inflated, and variable self-appraisal. The narcissistic person always harbors a lurking sense of inadequacy that is close to the bone, since they are unable to reflect on what they sound like or how their behavior impacts others. This can be confusing—how could someone who seems so sure of themselves be so fragile? All of this narcissistic stuff—the grandiosity, entitlement, arrogance, charisma—is a defensive suit of armor designed to
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