It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

by Ramani Durvasula

Malignant narcissism represents the dark tetrad, which is the crossroads of narcissism, psychopathy, sadism, and Machiavellianism or the willingness to use and exploit other people.[3] The malignant narcissist is only differentiated from the psychopath in that the malignant narcissist still has that nagging insecurity and sense of inadequacy, which they compensate for through domination, while the psychopath doesn’t experience the anxiety we observe in narcissism. When they feel threatened or frustrated, the malignant narcissists’ vindictive rage can escalate and become noisy and bombastic, while the psychopathic person is able to remain calm and composed even when they are angry. There is an almost sadistic glee malignant narcissistic people derive from exacting revenge. They malign people publicly, or harm their reputations. They are highly manipulative, transactional, and judge everyone based on how useful they are—whether for power, profit, pleasure, or validation. In the simplest framing, the malignant narcissist is a bully: mean, menacing, unrelenting, and overpowering. This is the most dangerous form of narcissism—a sort of last stop on the personality train before it veers into psychopathy station. They have a willful disregard for your needs and safety and exploit and manipulate just about everyone. Their aggressiveness can be manifested physically through violence and abusive displays of anger, insults, and interpersonal cruelty. They have a heightened sense of s...