One of the most helpful lists in your radical acceptance tool kit is what I call the Ick List. This is a list of all the awful stuff that happened in the relationship. Write down the terrible things this person did: cruel things they said, insults, invalidations, betrayals, lies, manipulations, special events they ruined, and all the gaslighting. This process can take days, weeks, or even a few months or years, and the recollections will keep coming to you.
