It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

by Ramani Durvasula

Entitlement is a core pattern of narcissism, and one of the most problematic. Theories of narcissism suggest that entitlement may be the core pillar of this personality style and that all other dynamics tie back to it.[1] Narcissistic people believe that they are special, must be given special treatment, can only be truly understood by other special people, and that the rules should not apply to them. If rules are applied to them or they are held accountable, narcissistic folks become quite angry and push back because those rules are for ordinary people! If they have to follow the rules, then they aren’t so special. They feel entitled to doing and saying what they want, whenever they want. Their entitlement serves as a way for them to create a reality in which they can exert their specialness, and it drives their anger when they don’t feel they are being regarded as a VIP.