It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

by Ramani Durvasula

their volatile and reactive rage, which is often activated by shame. If you trigger their feelings of inadequacy, they will often target you with either overt aggression (yelling and screaming) or passive-aggression (stonewalling, giving you the silent treatment, showing resentment).[4] They might then feel shame about their show of rage because they actually do know it’s not a good look, so they’ll blame you for it, and the whole cycle begins again. The unwillingness of narcissistic people to control their impulses means they can be highly reactive, especially when they feel provoked, envious, or disempowered. Narcissistic people have high rejection sensitivity, and any experience that smacks of rejection or abandonment is met with reactive rage.[5] Narcissistic rage plays out in every possible communication platform—text messages, voicemails, emails, DMs, phone calls, in person—and through behaviors like road rage. Rage is the clearest behavioral manifestation of narcissistic abuse, and one that takes a tremendous toll on you. The Domination Patterns Domination, isolation, revenge, and threats