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I’d do almost anything to avoid a panic attack. To lose control of myself so much that I can’t even regulate my own ability to breathe—it’s terrifying. And yes, maybe my coping mechanism is a bad one.
And a reminder that no matter how grave my problems are, they’re only a momentary blip in the grand scheme of things.
But it’s also because I’ve learned over the last six months that the things we do matter. The things we say matter. We can’t just pretend they don’t. But until we figure that out, until we start acting like they do, we’re just going to make the same mistakes.