The Broken Vows (The Windsors, #4)

by Catharina Maura

This one is for those of us that let loyalty blind us — those of us that let it deprive us of that which nourishes our souls. Only you can grant yourself permission to be happy. Say yes. Take the leap. Follow your heart. You deserve the happiness you so fervently wish upon others.

There aren’t many people who I genuinely hate with every fiber of my being—in fact, my list is comprised of only one name: Zane Windsor.

Every thought fades away until there’s nothing left but her—my Celestial. She’s back. Finally.

How long was she away? Three years?” Five years, two months, and twelve days actually.

“No, Celeste,” I tell her, my heart racing. “You look fucking breathtaking tonight.”

“Because I missed you, my beautiful Celestial. I missed that soft huff that escapes your lips when I annoy you, the way your eyes flash when I outdo you, the way you challenge me to do better.”

“I’ll remember those words fondly the next time I’m pushing my cock deep into you, Celeste. When I’ve got you on the brink of an orgasm, my name on your lips, I’ll make you eat those words before I make you beg for more. And you will. You’ll beg, just like you did that night.” She glares at me, but that hatred I see in her eyes—it’s laced with pure, unadulterated desire. She’s right to say we’re playing a game, the way we always have. What my beautiful Celestial hasn’t quite figured out is that this time, I’m playing for keeps.

I’ve waited years for a shot with her—I won’t wait another second, won’t let my own dumb behavior come between us the way it used to.

“Wasn’t that obvious? You were my first, and you ruined me for everyone else.”

“You took my first kiss and my first time, and now you’re my first girlfriend. How many more firsts will you take? I’ll give them all to you if you want them.”

“I love you, and someday, I’m going to make you my wife. That’s a vow, Celeste.”

“He was right to say you can’t force him to forgive you, though. Honestly? If I were him, I’m not sure I would. I get where you were coming from, Celeste, but you really fucked up, and you need to make it right. Not only that, you need to give him a real choice, and he doesn’t have that right now, not with the way you were forced together.”

“I’m turning this plane around immediately and I will not pick you up until I’m certain you’ve worked things out. I have never seen a couple that’s been through more than you’ve been without losing the love that’s still so obviously there between you. Do not let your insecurities and the past ruin what is bound to be a great future.”

“It’s going to be okay,” he tells her. “You belong with us, Celeste. This is what family does—we argue, we fall out with each other, but we always find our way back.”

never let you go,” I tell her, “and I’m not about to do so now.”

“I’m sorry for getting mad at you when I should’ve reassured you. I’m sorry for not being more understanding and for not reciprocating all your efforts. Instead of seeing the situation for what it is, I viewed it through a lens that’s tainted by the past, and it wasn’t fair.”

“I should’ve understood it’ll take time to heal and that broken trust can’t be fixed overnight. Instead of getting mad or being disappointed with your reaction, I should’ve understood and worked with you. I should’ve reassured you, but instead, I condemned you for showing me your wounds. Just because I didn’t cheat on you doesn’t mean you aren’t suffering from the emotional wounds the entire situation left you with, and as your husband, I failed you by not supporting you the way I should have.”

“I love you, Celeste Windsor—just as you are today. Neither of us is perfect, and I should’ve shown you more grace. The truth is I was scared, and I’d been expecting the worst from you. Because of that, I ended up doing exactly what I accused you of. I took the easy way out by pushing you away over and over again, despite your best attempts to fix us.”

“Let me fight for you, for us. Give me a chance to be the man you think I am, to love you the way you deserve to be loved. Let’s find a way to face our past and overcome it, instead of dancing around each other in an attempt not to pour salt into open wounds. Celeste, I want this with you, even if we can never regain the kind of happiness we had, even if our best attempts lead to only a fraction of it.”

“We’ll go through the motions over and over until you trust me again. I just ask that you give me the same grace, Celeste. When my initial response isn’t quite right, please give me another chance and see through the pain. Be patient with me, Goddess. There will be times I’ll find your inability to trust me the way you used to unfair, and at times, I’ll lash out because I can’t quite trust you in return. I’d be lying if I said I’m not scared I’ll mess up somehow or something might happen that you’ll misunderstand, and you’ll retaliate like you have before.”

“You’re giving me one right now, aren’t you? I don’t want this with anyone but you—never have, never will. You are it for me, Celeste. I fell in love with you when I was fifteen, and I’ve been in love with you ever since.”

lips. “I vow to love you and only you, forever and always. Through the ups and downs, I’ll be faithful, compassionate, and patient. I’ve loved you through all the seasons in life, Celeste, and I’ll continue to do so. Day after day, I will choose you, no matter what. That, my beautiful Celestial, is a vow.”

hers. “Moments like these make everything worth it. We could argue like crazy, and just one single smile from you would still make it the best day of my life.”

“The good, the bad, and everything in between. I love all of it, Celeste, every single part of you.”

“Did you know you’re the only woman I’ve ever kissed? I’ve never wanted anyone but you, Celeste. That will never change. You truly are it for me, and you have been from the moment I learned what it meant to be in love.”

“I told you I always find myself buried deep inside the women I share a bed with. It was a petty remark meant to hurt you, but it wasn’t a complete lie. I just failed to mention the only woman I’d ever fallen asleep next to was you, and, baby, we both know that before then, we’d never gone to bed without you seducing me first.”

“You’re so beautiful, Celeste. Do you have any idea how crazy it is that I get to call you my wife? Fuck, I might well be the luckiest man alive.”

“I don’t know about that. But I definitely am the luckiest woman in the world because I still get to call you mine.”

“My entire world has revolved around you ever since we were three years old and you walked into class with those adorable braids of yours. I thought you were an actual princess, but as it turns out, you were an enchantress, because I’ve been under your spell ever since.” I laugh, and he grins up at me. “You were the reason I became the person I am today, Celeste. All our lives, you challenged me to do better. Through the good and the bad, there was always one constant: you. As we grew up together, you were the one who taught me what love really is. I think I first realized I was in love with you when we were fifteen and Tommy asked you out on a date.”

“I knew I couldn’t live without you when you left for college, and I found my entire life empty. My nemesis was suddenly gone, and I knew that when you came back, I had to shoot my shot. I still count my lucky stars that you gave me a chance, Celestial. I thought I’d loved you then, but everything that followed showed me what true love really is. You taught me that love isn’t always perfect, like I once thought it would be. It’s laughter and inside jokes, home-cooked meals and flowers, long conversations and apologies. It’s patience and grace, but above all, it’s choosing each other over and over again, even when it isn’t an easy choice.”

“Celestial, I want it all with you. Everything we missed out on, everything we should’ve had. I want everything we’d planned on, right down to the cake we chose. If you’ll let me, I want to write my own vows, and see you walk down the aisle with a smile on your face. Celeste, will you marry me? Not because you have to but because you want to?”

“When they found out I was going to propose, they all wanted to be part of it, and I couldn’t really say no. Your dad cried when I asked for your hand, and my brothers were all overly emotional when I told them about my plans too. The girls… Well, they were something else. Faye insisted on playing the piano during my proposal, Sierra and Raven decided you had to have the perfect hair and nails, and Val sourced and acquired the company that made your custom nail polish.”

“I’ve had it for years. It’s the same ring I planned to propose with years ago, and I could never get rid of it. I guess deep down, I’d kinda been hoping it’d eventually still end up on your hand. It’s the shape of a rose because I told you the rose garden was always meant for my wife.”

“He had one of his friends hack grandma’s systems and found out who he was marrying long before this announcement. Lex then tracked her down at a party, and I’m not entirely sure what happened there, but shortly after, he signed on to teach at her college. I have this sinking feeling he never told her who he was when they met.”

racing. It’s crazy how in love I still am with her. Every year, I fall a little harder. There’s something so beautiful about sharing your life with someone—about growing together and discovering new parts of each other in every stage of life. I love who she is as a businesswoman, a wife, and a mother. Neither of us is perfect, but fuck, together?

“I vow to love you a little more each day, to appreciate you, and to honor you always. I vow to be faithful, and to be your partner as we navigate our ever-changing life. I promise to take your side and stand by you, to uplift you. I promise to be there when you need me, even if you don’t want me to be, and to push you to be the best you can be. But above all, Celeste, I vow to be yours, forever and always.”

“I, too, vow to love you forever and always, Zane. I vow to respect and honor you, to be faithful and appreciate you, to make you laugh, and to nurture our relationship. I vow to be your best friend, and to never stop challenging you, but above all, I promise to put you first, and to choose you every single day, even when you make it difficult by spoiling our daughter rotten.” She narrows her eyes then. “I know about the excavator, Zane.”