Witches Get Stuff Done (Starfall Point #1)

by Molly Harper

This certainly wasn’t the way she wanted to start her time on Starfall Point, a roaring vomit-monster who frightened schoolchildren.

What in the Sam Elliott’s mustache horror movie hell was happening here?

“Blood contract with the doorknob’ isn’t even the weirdest phrase you’ve said today, is it?” she asked.

“Job titles are probably really important to wait, no, no, this is nuts. I’m not sitting here having a conversation with a ghost-butler about his qualifications while I search my long-lost aunt’s secret journals instructing me on how to do some mysterious dead-people-related job I’m probably not qualified for. None of this is real.”

“I’m getting back on the death trap of a ferry and going to Florida, where things are normal. And that’s a sentence I never thought I would say!”

“OK, but who the hell haunts a toaster?” she demanded as if he hadn’t even spoken. “And, a final query, who the hell would steal a haunted toaster? What sort of messed-up alternate evil-appliance universe have I stumbled into here?”

You will need to exercise extreme caution until you adjust to the environment. None of this gallivanting around the rooms willy-nilly.” “I wasn’t gallivanting. I was fleeing in terror,” she noted. “Learn to flee at a more cautious pace,” he replied.

Edison didn’t want to be the kind of guy whose heartbeat could be affected by eye color–related optical illusions, but damned if it didn’t do just that.

“I thought you said that librarian fetishes are degrading,” she giggled as they scampered down the street. “Well, then don’t fetishize me, just sexually objectify me in a regular, normal way.”

It was a little humiliating to have her friends arrive at Shaddow House to find Riley perched in front of their ghost board, wrapped in Edison’s fleece blanket, drinking hot tea, with a hot water bottle duct-taped to her chest. But Riley didn’t know how else to handle the four inches of snow piled up in her yard.

“Oh, no,” Caroline sighed. “Baby’s first subfreezing temperature drop has hit you a little harder than expected, huh?” “I have made a huge mistake moving here,” Riley told them, teeth chattering. “I’ll never survive the whole winter. I thought I had a lot more time to get a winter coat!”

It was like watching someone he loved running on a hamster wheel, if that hamster wheel was made of fire.

And while it warmed her heart that there were people in the world that took the time to overanalyze her feelings, she also felt a lot of guilt that they were spending a pleasant afternoon worrying about Riley over beverages involving blue curacao. Riley shuddered. No good conversation happened over blue curacao.