Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship

by Stan Tatkin

The couple bubble is a term I like to use to describe the mutually constructed membrane, cocoon, or womb that holds a couple together and protects each partner from outside elements. A couple bubble is an intimate environment that the partners create and sustain together and that implicitly guarantees such things as: “I will never leave you.” “I will never frighten you purposely.” “When you are in distress, I will relieve you, even if I’m the one who is causing the distress.” “Our relationship is more important than my need to be right, your performance, your appearance, what other people think or want, or any other competing value.” “You will be the first to hear about anything and not the second, third, or fourth person I tell.”