Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship

by Stan Tatkin

It’s Okay to Be High Maintenance Partners in a couple bubble who agree to be available go-to people for each other benefit in ways nobody outside the bubble can. To be sure, maintenance of this agreement can feel burdensome at times, but the effort is well worth the trouble. Partners who expect one another to be available 24/7 are and should be considered high maintenance. In our culture, being labeled high maintenance usually is considered a pejorative. Typically, men speak about a woman as high maintenance if they see her as demanding attention, overly concerned about her appearance, or hard to please. This is not what I mean here. I am speaking about two people who are willing to go the extra mile for each other. They are willing to put in the highest level of effort possible, for their mutual benefit. They are willing to give freely, knowing they will receive the same in return. They are high maintenance because